Are women becoming too desperate to hold onto a man?

So, I have noticed a common thread among cheating…women are much more likely to forgive when a man cheats on them and men are much more likely to get rid of a woman who has cheated on them…I have a serious issue with this mainly because I do not think highly of men at all they are good for few things in life (sorry boys…I still heart you but I just think women are the superior sex) yet women seem to allow men to feed them BS from the day they find out their men are cheating on them…

I am not saying make an immediate decision to kick a cheater to the curb because I know that it is never black and white in a relationship and there are often other issues within the relationship that would make you want to work on the relationship but I have noticed entirely too many women make themselves almost miserable trying to “fix” a broken relationship or “fix” a “broken” man…well news flash ladies: a man is gonna be who he is if he wants to change it most certainly will not be because you “fixed” him and if your relationship is hurting you and giving you more grief than good, is it worth it?  Here are some common observations I have noticed that “desperate” women do after they have been cheated on…
**disclaimer…if you do any or all of these I am not calling you desperate…this is based on my observations only**

-Believing the affair is all their fault…okay um yes, the relationship had some issues but do you really believe that it is YOUR fault your man took his penis and stuck it in another woman, kissed another woman, spent time/money with another woman, etc…clearly these were decisions he made and he could have done SO many other things instead of cheating but he did not…..I am not even okay sleeping with married men who attempt to blame their marital issues on their wife (that makes your husband an even bigger loser to me) because clearly this man is not even man enough to deal with the issues he has with his own relationship and I have issues dealing with whiny beta boys in life……..if your man has you believing an affair is your fault maybe you need to realize he made a bad decision, he cheated and he is turning his “guilt” (if he feels guilty at all) back on you…you are better than that and do not need to accept that

-Thinking they are so “amazing” another woman is obsessed with them…I have noticed entirely too many men manage to dismiss an affair partner that their wife suspects by saying another woman is obsessed with them, jealous of the relationship they have, etc…does this happen?  Occasionally, yes…Does it happen often?  No…Is there normally a reason behind a woman’s “obsession”? YES!!!!!!!!!………I have occasionally had a married man tell me his wife saw a text or his phone bill and he told her I was a jealous b*tch that he was just being nice to…for the most part I’ve been okay with the story but I’ve wondered why the hell any woman would believe that…first off what man would regularly speak to a woman who was so “obsessed” with him?  Men are pretty direct if they do not want to be contacted by a woman they make it pretty clear and even if a woman cannot take no for an answer the first time the man normally has boundaries set in place (if he cares about the relationship) so a woman will not get to this level with him…secondly, if a woman was that “obsessed” with anyone, a normal person would take some sort of action to have the person stop contacting them (block their number, get a restraining order, file harassment charges, etc.) but men never do this…finally, a man many times is showing a woman “just enough” to ease her suspicions and to get his story of “she won’t stop contacting me” to be plausible but for the most part the average (not crazy) person does not continuously contact someone who wants nothing to do with them………in fact, the man involved actually manages to pit two complete strangers against each other which seems to be a bit odd but makes sense…you now have your wife/girlfriend focused on hating a girl she doesn’t know so she a bit too blinded to see what is really going on such as her husband/boyfriend sleeping with the woman who is “obsessed” with him

-Women start to “diagnose” their significant other with addictions, compulsions, etc…..okay for the most part an addict will not realize they have a problem until they hit rock bottom but what about a sex addict? or a porn addict? or a serial cheater?  I will say almost all of the ones I have come across realize they have an issue with these things and simply do not care or laugh about it…I have gone so far as to ask some of male friends or affair partners with these problems why they are getting married (or why they got married) and their answer is something along of line of a sarcastic “eh, I want someone to take half my debt”, “she cooks pretty well”, etc…or something more along the lines of hiding the problem “what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her”, “I’m the best thing that will happen to her so she can deal with it”, etc…….so let’s look at this from a logical point of a view a man realized he had an issue at some point, did nothing to get help for his issue, engaged in behavior that he knew would hurt you, continued to hide the behavior and often times did NOTHING to get help until you diagnosed him and threatened to leave him……so in the real world if that was an alcoholic or a cocaine addict that would be a sign that he loved the drug more then anyone else in his life but in a case where a man cheats it’s a sign that woman needs to stay with him to help him not cheat?  Once again a relationship might not be black and white and I do not advocate up and leaving a man who cheats solely because he cheats and you are hurt but this is a man who could not figure out that the actions and behaviors he were doing could potentially break up his relationship and hurt you…men have constructed some crazy and brilliant schemes to hide affairs with me (each time they wanted to see me) so to say they cannot think things through is once again giving a man an excuse….stop making excuses for why HE cheated he needs to give you the reasons

Now, once again I am not saying every woman who does this is desperate to keep a man in her life but I think women need to occasionally put themselves in a situation to allow themselves to be played….some women need to wake up and realize they deserve better and don’t “NEED” a man or a relationship…

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About C.X.Love

I'm the woman that most females hate...I am the other woman in your relationship or in some cases just the woman your husband had an affair with...this MY side of the story, not that you care but maybe some of you can protect your relationships from me...or maybe some of you will just be entertained because my life is amazing...
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21 Responses to Are women becoming too desperate to hold onto a man?

  1. beautifulmess7 says:

    I think you are speaking the truth!

    • C.X.Love says:

      Thanks…I’m pretty sure many women will read this and try to justify a few things and that’s okay…I also know of a few men who cheat and eventually stop but they are the exception not the rule….

      • I have been guilty of some of these things, but definitely not all and none at the moment. I never gave 2 shits about the OW. It wasn’t about her – she could have been anyone. I don’t know her mental state and don’t care to. He never tried the “stalker” bullshit on me, or any of that other ridiculous stuff because I’m too realistic to fall for that.

        I did have some strange attachment to him that I can’t describe. I should have dropped his ass immediately. Do really didn’t have a reason not to. Then he started making an “effort” – a false one I now know. Mistake #2 was marrying him a year and a half later. Sure enough, 6 months later I found more shit. By that point we were married, which matters to me.

        I didn’t diagnose him, though, a specialists did who he found. I told him flat out it was his responsibility to fix him or he was gone. I know… That kind of statement lends itself to false “recovery.” I was looking for signs of truth, though. He is a sex addict. That’s definitely the truth. He has now been sexually sober by SA’s definition since April 2011. Do we still have other issues from time to time? Yes, of course. But every relationship does.

        I am under no illusions now. If he does it again, he is out of MY house (in my name, owned before I ever met him) immediately. I am strong, capable, smart, and pretty young. I am financially secure and will be okay. I will also sleep soundly at night knowing I gave my marriage everything I could.

      • C.X.Love says:

        I love the way you have realized you have done your all and expect that from him and will not settle…..I know part of being in a relationship is that the good is supposed to not only outweigh the bad but be so good that you are willing to put up with the possibility of the hurt you could potentially suffer….I know a few men who have ended up on the straight and narrow after an affair but they also had to do their own soul searching and find their own way to get over it….having a wife who checked cell records, got pissed at every text, followed them, etc. did nothing for them it was a personal thing to recommit to their relationship

    • OMG… AMEN ! These women are so pathetic to think that a man needs to be “fixed”. I too have known men who stay with a ‘W” not b/c he loved her , was sorry, (sorry he got caught) It is very simple,
      “it’s cheaper to keep her”….. he will be right back cheating again once things have
      calmed down.

  2. Ariella says:

    Well, here I go again. . .

    I must admit, I actually agree with some things your have stated here, however, it is not always so cut and dry. There are women who are obsessed with men! I am a smart woman and I do not convince myself that I John’s ow is a psycho path, she has done a great job at doing that all by herself. I mean she is mentally unstable. Yes, John was with her for 38 minutes the other night, but that was the first time he saw her or spoke with her in almost 6 months. How do I know this for sure? Well, I smashed his phone into a million pieces with a baseball bat and went to the Sprint store the next day to get a replacement. I haven’t posted about it yet, but I had that phone. As soon as I turned it on all those messages came through from the night before. She couldn’t believe she got to see him after not seeing him or him even returning her text in 161 days!!!! She said that, 161 days, that is crazy! She wanted to know what it was about me that she didn’t have? Ummm, lets see, class, sense of style, dress, money, career, just to name a few! They just came coming through, she sent him a smile face that afternoon with the radio station 95.5 I turned it on and it was Janet Jackson Anytime, Anyplace. . . I just don’t get it, yes she is crazy! This bitch had like short brown hair with blonde highlights. I have seen plenty of pictures of her and she always had short hair. After she met me, she died her hair dark and got extensions! (I have very long dark brown hair.) Who does that? And she is white? John has never convinced me she is crazy, I knew from the jump that she was a lunatic. We have blocked like 20 different numbers. She has an i-phone so she keeps creating different text numbers. For business purposes, we will not change his number. . .

    As far as diagnosing John, yes, I finally have diagnosed him. I have diagnosed him with HHCAEIT…John suffers from “Having his cake and eating it too” I just have to face facts that is his addiction, and yup, I have self diagnosed him!

    I don’t know if it is that women are so “desperate” to keep a man because they want him so much and can’t imagine life without them, I think its either because of the kids, if there are children involved, or it is because they put way too much into the relationship. I do not “need” John. If John walked out the door tomorrow, first of all, if I wasn’t financially secure, I know he would take care of us. I quit my job at 4am Sunday morning! (I do own the company, and walk in my office every day and work) I have not been in my office since Saturday and I am not going back anytime soon! I am taking this time to reflect on myself and what I need. Let him work. . . Ring the Alarm by Beyonce is probably the best way I can describe my feelings. I feel as though I don’t want you anymore, but no other bitch is going to get what I worked so hard at creating. It’s not going to happen. I put all the effort into this relationship and this business. I took this business from nothing and made it into something big. We are 50/50 partners and I can tell you right now, no bitch is going to be spending my hard earned money! Does it make it right? NOPE, but I don’t give a shit. It is how I feel.

    I cannot change John, John has to change John. And you are right, I have blamed myself before for his cheating, but I know now it is not my fault! It is him, all him. I have done nothing to make him go out and stick his dick in another woman! Simple as that. I know this now. . .

    Some women need to wake up and realize that they don’t need a man or a relationship and I agree with that, but sometimes its not that easy. You have a stay at home mom with 3 kids and the husband is the sole financial supporter of that family??????? How will they survive???? Its not always so easy. . . IJS. . .

    • C.X.Love says:

      Hence my disclaimer…I understand that children or financial situations might influence a relationship and yes, I agree after following your blog for a few months now that OW is a freakin psycho but like I also said in my post these are my experiences and observations…they clearly will not apply to EVERYONE but I am noticing a common thread developing among a lot of women……….as for your sig other having his cake and eating it too, he can only do what you let him get away with and after reading your blog if you were a personal friend I’d be out to ruin this b*tch who’s after your man and can’t take a hint (I’m a bit psycho myself when my friends and family are threatened) but I also notice that in your last post you said you felt sorry for him……men play off a woman’s sympathy emotions all the time and if he cannot get over his lack of trust of females and then goes out to cheat supposedly because of this, what does that say about your relationship? (not speaking badly about you personally here)…he cannot separate you from other women in his life? his family and life at home is worth risking for him to prove a point? and what is worse is that he seems to know he’ll always have a place at home also…..I can understand you feeling as if you built a relationship and in the process maybe “fixed” him (all men are slightly broken and twisted IMO) but what is another woman going to get? a man who cheats on her, has trust issues, lies to her, etc…I don’t see the value in holding onto something that continuously hurts you BUT that’s just me….

      • Ariella says:

        I did see your disclaimer, lol! And as far as the friends, please, I am so close and they have tried. Your right I make things so easy for him, well that is as far as it pertains to him being home. I hate to think that I let him cheat, but I understand that comment because I have done nothing to stop it. Sadly, I think it has gotten to be more about her then him. . . Hey, wanna be my friend? You are in the Baltimore area lol. I will let you know where she works and lives! hahaha. . . lol. . .

      • C.X.Love says:

        Hahaha I have an idea of what you are planning but I am never so out and open about the mean stuff I do…in fact some of my ex’s have even said they’re scared to cheat because if they did they know I’d find out about it and they’d have no idea until they woke up with no penis and I’d STILL be like “OMG, are you ok?! how did that happen?” so they’d have no idea or no way to link anything to me hahahahahaha
        I don’t think that you specifically allow him to cheat because he’s not a child that needs your permission but females tend to make men very comfortable after they have cheated…then we as females tend to be quick to show sympathy and quick to forgive or over look things…which just makes them realize hey I can keep doing this and she’ll keep taking me back…and eventually one of a few things tend to happen…

        -they get tired of “playing” the game and stop

        -they get their feelings hurt or an affair partner damages their ego too much (imagine if this other woman told him the sex was terrible and she had decided she could do better…part of him probably enjoys a woman wanting him so much)

        -something smacks them into reality and they realize either their issues or that they are risking a great relationship

  3. Ariella says:

    Well, I hope he gets tired of playing the game, but. . . who knows. As far as what I am planning, really I want to hit her, but she is not worth it. I have held my tongue for months. The last time I spoke with her was when I showed up at a bar to knock her out in October. . .However, she wasn’t there.

    Truly, she is not worth me breaking a nail for, so I have decided to let my anger and hate towards her simmer. And in classic Ariella style, I will have the last word. The difference between me and her is I am smarter. She will not be happy, but. . . better start picking up a couple of extra shifts at the salon because IP attorneys are far from cheap. In the end, I will have the last word and everyone will know exactly how crazy she is. I know its not very mature of me, but. . .I get tired of being mature all day long.

    I don’t know how you do what you do or what you get out of sleeping with another womans husband, but for some reason, I cant hate you, not yet atleast. I have never come across another woman’s blog that I can stand reading, however, yours has been ok. Not saying I won’t despise you in the future. lol!

    • C.X.Love says:

      It’s not that I “get” something out of it…and as for doing what I do as I’ve said many times…I just simply would not care about someone else’s relationship when their husband who is in the relationship doesn’t care about it….IDK maybe I’ll explain my standards of men that I will sleep with at some point in my blog and it will make more sense because it’s rare that I’ll sleep with a man who outright decides to trash his wife, blame her for everything, be an ass to her, etc and I keep my loyalties to my friends (few women do that) so maybe that’s why I’m not so hateful (yet)?

      As for this chick…DO NOT HIT HER!!!! So glad you realize that she’s not worth losing any of your freedom, time, money, etc. over…the biggest issue I see with all of this is that your sig other invited her into your relationship and it is his job to get her out…you were the one trying to send her the no contact letter, you were the one stressing about her texting him, etc…he should have been the one sending the letter, taking her to court, putting all of that effort into it….

  4. Socialkenny says:

    As to your 1st point,that is because when a woman cheats,it’s usually more fucked up than when a man cheats.

    A woman would cheat on her BF with her BF’s best friend.That is the norm.

    That is harder to forgive than if it was a strange man.

    A man is more likely to cheat with a total stranger that his GF/wife doesn’t know.

    So the woman had a better propensity to forgive the cheating man.

    Women are more devilish and bold with their cheating while men are more conscious as to what is appropriate.

  5. Our Journey After His Affair says:

    I think that being a “player” prior to my relationship with Mike (my whole dating relationship for years) really helped me to understand men more and how to get what I wanted and to set those boundaries for the ones I was with. I was with different personalities, but learned how to command from them what I wanted in the relationship without being too dominant. I really learned a lot about having appropriate expectations for myself and for my mates and I think that’s where I can understand the lifestyle you choose, although I did not choose to be with married men. Most of all, I learned how to not come across as desperate and needy. 😉

  6. JulesK says:

    This is a great post on a great blog.

  7. Shelley greenaway says:

    to be honest, i really don’t get why women fell they need a man just to try and fit in with society. i am happily single and i don’t care even if i remain that way. and no, i’m not waiting for some mr right to sweep me off my feet and ride me off into the sunset, i have bigger priorities than a relationship!

  8. Jolene says:

    I looked threw the phone records she text for a year and he never responded or called. She incriminated her self multiple times when she exposed the affair. Yes, his fault let it start, but thereafter hers and he did end it.. He messed up big time, but his intent was never to destroy me or the marriage her intent was to destroy me in the process of destroy the marriage. As with any crime one must look at both the motive and the intent of the crime. The cheating husband and the home wreaker in my case had each a different motive and intent, and that I truly understand. I stay because, for one I truly loved my husband and believe he truly loves me, in the so called ups and downs he got lost but found his way back. Why should my children and I lose everything we have worked so hard to build, why should I just throw up my hands and say ” My husband made a big mistake, so now I just give up everything we alI worked so hard for all these years.” and worst yet possibly just give the other woman all your hard work? Or you leave him take your half, and he don’t want the other woman, but gets new woman that will inherit all your work.. I am also talking about all the work you have put into him, strayed or not. Also, either way, once you walk because your too good for this man, cause you got your pride and self worth, now every other weekend its not just dad your kids go see, but the new jealous woman, that hates that all his money goes to you and the site of your child enrages her. You give up a lot when you walk, sometimes you have to, but your losing a lot. To me, self worth is not letting someone else reap my work. I own it, better or worst. I will not give away what is rightfully mine, and certainly not over someone else’s mistake.

    If a robber came to my house, that my spouse foolishly befriended the week before, and stole some of my property I certainly would not throw up my hands and say come take it all!!! By nature woman are supposed to be territorial, that also includes their husbands, and most importantly their children, why let the other woman get her hands on your child? In my opinion, people need to stop betraying their instincts, stand your ground, sometime he wont allow that, but if it comes down to the other woman and you, establish territory, she’s a bitch, but your the alpha… and let her know it.

    Also the best revenge is to forgive him, and let her know she will never again be with him. It will eat her. Also know that there is no pain equal to the pain that two lovers (man and wife) can inflict on one another, and when you split and turn on each other, is when you understand true wisdom.

  9. Tess says:

    Some men have issues from their childhood…and will do things to sabotage themselves. We wives try to protect them..by standing by them..There is nothing wrong with that..Do you think the marriages of our ancestors were perfect?? There were less whores back then..so they stood a better chance to work things out between them..

    But still…our lives..our marriages…are not your business.

    If there were no whores for our husbands to visit like unpaid whores….then there would be no problem

    WOMEN CONTROL THE MORALITY OF THE LAND…

    There is no excuse for your behavior..You have no boundaries…and yet..you try to justify what you do in this blog…but its not reality..

    Your reality..is there is something wrong in your thought process…

    You like my ex..need professional help

    HOW CAN YOU DATE A MARRIED MAN…LOOK INTO THE EYES OF HIS CHILDREN…YOU FEEL NOTHING KNOWING THAT YOU ARE DESTROYING THEIR LITTLE LIVES..

    Your type..are heartless bitches..and the world would be a better place without you.

    They called it barbaric to stone whores…but in reality..was it?

    Whores destroy the family…entire nations…and broken homes create weak societies..Just look at America today..what a mess..when just a few decades ago…when adultry..and divorce were greatly stigmatized by the communities….and most people avoided it like the plague.

    America has come to this situation..in just a few decades…What will it be like if it continues..

    IF A BITCHTRESS CANE TO MY HOUSE..AND STOLE MY CAR…SHE WOULD GO TO JAIL

    BUT SHE CAN COME TO MY HOME…..AND BRAINWASH MY HUSBAND WITH HER BULLSHIT..AND ROB ME AND MY CHILDREN OF OUR SUPPORT SYSTEM….ROB THE KIDS OF THEIR FATHER….MY RETIREMENT WAS LOST……WHICH I EARNED WITH ALL MY HARD WORK..WE LIVE IN A RANCH..AND I HAVE ALWAYS WORKED MY ASS OFF FOR MY FAMILY…;..GREW OUR OWN FOOD..RAISED OUR OWN BEEF..SOCCER…T BALL…HORSE SHOWS…I WAS FRIGGEN BUSY….SHE DID NONE OF THESE THINGS FOR HER FAMILY…SHE WAS ALL ABOUT FUN FUN FUN..but that is not the reality of life…

    My solution..is to begin to GREATLY PUBLICLY HUMILIATE PEOPLE WHO DATE MARRIED PEOPLE…its time to end this horrible plague that has overtaken our land..If we do not stop the divorces…this nation will go down…Every divorce…cuts in half…everyones wealth..and prosperity…Inheritances are divided in half…lost forever..the wealth that should be used to build that mans children’s lives..not the bimbos kids lives..

    WHEN WE THE WIVES..AND GOOD HUBBY’S..BEGIN TO FIGHT BACK..AND PUBLICALLY PUT THAT RED “A” FOR ADULTERY ON THE FOREHEADS OF THESE IMMORAL PEOPLE…..Perhaps some of these bitches AND man whores will think twice before dating our spouses if we all begin to make things quite uncomfortable for them…

    It worked long ago…It can work today

    MAY THE AMERICAN FAMILY PREVAIL OVER THE DEVILS CHILDREN

    .

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