Married and looking…?

So, I’ve gotten the question a few times…why do I go after married men?  I can say I prefer a married man over a single man (even with f**k buddies people cross boundaries and have odd expectations) but I never actively search for married men…they find me. 

The past 4 days in a row I have gone to bars and been hanging out with groups of single friends…I am now staring at 8 phone numbers that I gathered over these 4 days and 7 of these 8 men were wearing wedding rings (one even came over to my area of the bar and left his wife sitting at the other end then casually slipped a business card to me after we had chatted for awhile)…I know plenty of people think that I should call out these men for being married instead of calling them (I most likely won’t bother calling them anyway) but why should it be my responsibility to take care of a relationship that is not mine?  I guess in theory if every female said no to married men they would not have affairs but that is unrealistic and I am not going to care about a relationship that has no bearing on my life…so here is a breakdown of some of the married men who openly approached me and were clearly looking…

Guy #1…came and sat down next to me and casually asked me what I was drinking (I normally drink oddly colored drinks but even so good conversation starter)…he even mentioned his wife was out of town with the kids so he had free time and was just looking for a fun night out.  After chatting with him for a little bit (and sadly ignoring my friends) and letting him buy me a few drinks he started asking me basic questions about my relationship status (why does it matter if I’m single?!  he’s not) and what my plans were for the rest of the night even mentioning that his house was right around the corner and we could continue to drink there if I wanted (even if I wasn’t with my friends, I’m not stupid enough to pop over to a man’s house like that)…when I declined he cashed out his tab and thanked me for the company and said he would love to get together sometime for at least coffee and handed me a # on the back of his receipt….I guess at that point I am expected to either make a comment about his wife or family or maybe just decline the number but he clearly had no issues with potentially cheating, so why should I?

Guy #2…this guy casually left his wife at one end of the bar and used the excuse that he could see the game better by sitting by me, we had a long conversation about sports and he mentioned that he wished his wife knew about sports and realized they were “fun” to watch and then he started with all the issues he had with his wife “she doesn’t take care of herself anymore”, “I had to drag her out tonight and she’s boring”, etc. he eventually found out I have a condo and mentioned that I should invite him over to watch sports and maybe some of you read this and think that’s what he really wants to do but why would he have slid me his business card and said we’ll keep this our little secret?……..this is yet another married man who IMO has no respect for his wife (he was insulting almost everything about her) especially since she was some what aware that he was ignoring her and talking to another female…once again it’s not my place to tell him to fix his issues with his wife…


So I do not feel the need to describe every other man’s attempt at getting me to call them but clearly they are all open to affairs (I swear the DMV has the highest rate of cheating)…I had no interest in “chasing” these men and if I get bored I might call one or two of them (but none of them really stood out to me to have the burning desire to want to purse anything casual)…but if I don’t call they’re going to continue looking for women who are not their wives and eventually find one who is willing to start an affair with them…

There are some women who exclusively chase married men…that’s not really my style to chase any man but if a married man wants to pursue something casual and I am okay with it, I’m not sure why people feel I owe a loyalty to a woman who is not a friend or family member…



About C.X.Love

I'm the woman that most females hate...I am the other woman in your relationship or in some cases just the woman your husband had an affair with...this MY side of the story, not that you care but maybe some of you can protect your relationships from me...or maybe some of you will just be entertained because my life is amazing...
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26 Responses to Married and looking…?

  1. Reading your blog it really shocks me how many married men don’t seem to think that getting married means that they need to commit to monogamy. Seriously are all guys like this? What was the point of getting married then? Argh!
    They wonder why women complain so much, well what do they expect? They have bloody well perfected the art of bullshitting and then ask why we don’t trust them or why we question them so much.

    • C.X.Love says:

      There are different types of cheaters and clearly I can’t speak for a decent majority of men BUT it has been my belief for a long time that MOST (not all) men are willing to cheat and would do it if they opportunity arose…a decent amount of men are willing to continue an affair beyond a one night stand and some men are just dogs that got married for the convenience of having a wife around or because on paper a woman was someone they should marry…

      • LOL
        Then they wonder why we call them a range of colour names from d*cks to a**holes. Idiots

      • C.X.Love says:

        Honestly, I think women keep up in terms of the amt that cheat…we’re just way better at not getting caught…but what’s funny is a man is normally reluctant to take back a woman who has cheated whereas a woman will bend over backwards to try and make her relationship work…

      • I wouldn’t cheat, hate the concept of cheating, so there are the rare exceptions like myself who wouldn’t do it. That gives me hope of finding someone who has the same belief’s.
        It is funny how men wouldn’t even consider taking back a cheater, but are happy to do it themselves.
        One rule for them and another for us. Double standards and all that.

      • C.X.Love says:

        I personally do not believe in cheating when I am in a relationship (that’s my relationship though) because I see no point in doing it…it means you’re either not communicating and issue in the relationship or you’re over it and either one is easy to fix if you’re willing to work at it.

        I also do not consider cheating as something that would be an end to my marriage (if I get married, ever) but it is something that my spouse better be damn well resolved to fix.

  2. Socialkenny says:

    Well I think you kinda confirm what I was saying in my last article.

    You do prefer married men/taken men.

  3. Interesting. That’s what I’ll say about this post. One thing though: it’s false to say that even MOST men will cheat when given the opportunity. Notice the men you described. You met them at BARS. I’m guessing you’ve met many of them at BARS. Most married men who go to a bar are already that type-a cheater. If you go outside of that-the church, law firm, police station-SOME of them may be willing to cheat, but I highly doubt MOST. I’m not even going to get started on the fact that you have no shame in messing around with married men. That’s just sad. No, I can’t say you owe these women anything but you’d be upset if your boyfriend or spouse acted like you. So why participate in a behavior that you would not condone from your spouse? That’s a shame.

    • C.X.Love says:

      Well, this was one specific weekend plus a few extra days…I have met men plenty of places that are willing to cheat. I guess we have two different opinions based on our experiences…some of the other places I’ve met married men who cheat would be church, clients from work, the gym, etc. Would I be upset if my boyfriend or spouse acted like me? And went out when they were single and had fun…um no and that is exactly what I am doing. There’s nothing shameful about my behavior to me…I’m not cheating on anyone and I don’t force these men into anything they’re not looking for but thank you for your opinion.

      • Lamont Cranston says:

        I think that most men will accept sex if it’s offered. The best men just don’t get themselves into situations where it’s likely to be offered.

    • Socialkenny says:

      What’s wrong with meeting men @ bars?

      Are they more inclined to mess up opposed to men who stay home on the weekends?

  4. Yes to the first half of your second question. Why are they more inclined? Well it isn’t because the “bar-life” brings out the cheating instinct in men. It’s because men who are already willing to cheat or just looking for sex go to the bars more frequently because they are obviously looking for women. Not many men go to the bar alone just to get a drink and not check out women. For example, a study has shown that men who work in the IT and engineering field commit adultery more frequently. That doesn’t mean that the profession itself causes a man to cheat-men that are already inclined to cheat just happen to flock to that profession for whatever reasons.

    And to answer your FIRST question: there is absolutely nothing wrong with meeting men at bars IF that’s what you like. For ME, that wouldn’t work because I’m looking for a long lasting relationship and eventually marriage-not someone to just bang. So for me, a bar may not be the best place.

  5. Hahah you go Ms. Raven! Say it like it is!

    • Socialkenny says:

      What’s up with the man-bashing session here lol!?

      • From what I have seen, your blog is about how to get females, and not relationships, but how to get more sex. That says it all. You can’t blame us for the man-bashing 😉

    • Socialkenny says:

      @DQ-Lol I can never win with your huh?

      Well things is,guys should learn to crawl before they walk.Instead of coaching guys how to get GF’s and marriages(which is a huge leap/walking),it’s better to teach them how to get laid(baby step/crawling).

      • Hahaha, nope. You trying is like hitting a brick wall.

        Have to say though, I admire you defence, you always have a good argument. Just isn’t good enough when your opponent isn’t too willing to back down and listen. Sorry.

      • C.X.Love says:

        IMO the biggest issue with what you’re doing Kenny is that most of the men you’re coaching f**k with these women’s emotions…if a guy wants to be straight up and f**k and present himself in that light well that’s fine with me but so many of these “pick up artists” try to be players and find a thrill in f**king with women’s emotions…this breaks them down and when a man wants to find a real relationship he will complain about finding “damaged” goods because women have been played and hurt by younger versions of himself…as long as a man is straight up with what something is gonna be then that’s fine but most of these men are not…

  6. If he does not betray her with you, he will with someone else. If you enjoy it and do not want to commit, why not? And then-
    what if you fall in LOVE?

  7. Socialkenny says:

    @CX-Dont play the victim here.

    Or at least,don’t blame men for women getting their feeling hurt,etc.Women should be responsible for what they get themselves into.

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