Can you stop an affair before it happens?

All things aside if your husband wants to cheat…he will!  However, outside of fixing your actual marriage issues…can you pick up on women like me and do something about it?  BB’s wife practically ordered him to stay away from me, she said our friendship was too friendly and she didn’t think it was appropriate…he tried to listen to her for a few months but eventually he came running back to my friendship.  DL’s wife called me at his office when I did an internship there and threatened me to stay away from her husband but the only problem was that opened me up to knowing her husband was interested in me…we hadn’t done anything YET.  GH’s wife told him she thought I was a nice person but entirely too flirty and attractive to be around married men and she told him to unfriend me on Facebook, too bad she didn’t tell him to stop texting me and stay out of my bed. 

My point is most women pick up on women like me and attempt to get me out of their marriage before I do much damage but what is the best way to go about this? 

-I do not recommend directly approaching the woman the way DL’s wife did…yes, I assume her husband was getting home and talking about me entirely too much and possibly mentioning that we occasionally went out to a happy hour or lunch/dinner BUT a spiteful woman like me will see this as a green light..I had no idea DL had any interest in me before this point…..I think a better way for her to have handled this would have been to have a conversation with her husband about appropriate boundaries with a female who is single (sometimes men do not realize they are crossing lines)…I think women like this are also smart if they attempt to be nice to the lady in question (keep your friend’s close and enemies closer). 

-When you expect your husband to set boundaries such as GH’s wife make sure he either sets them appropriately by backing off slowly or makes the idea come from himself…when a man tells me “my wife says I have to”, “my wife told me to tell you”, etc…it pretty much makes it clear that the man is only doing something to appease his wife and isn’t serious about anything he is saying…also, if your husband doesn’t agree with your decision he most likely will not stick to it

-Realize why your husband feels the need to be so close to another woman, BB and I most likely would have never had sex if large amounts of alcohol were involved but his wife saw almost immediately that our friendship was turning into an emotional affair…BB’s wife asked him to stop talking to me and he tried to but as he said, that forced him to get rid of his best friend and he had no one to talk to about anything.  That person should have been his wife but he feels their relationship is lacking in the communication department…he also gets frustrated at how quickly she throws him under the bus after a serious conversation and uses his “weak” moments (anytime he is emotional) against him.  BB actually respected his marriage and loves his wife but since that one aspect is missing she asked him to get rid of something that everyone needs…a best friend……if she had bothered to actually connect with her husband, I would have never had the chance to turn our friendship into an affair. 

 

These are just three examples of many where women saw an issue arise but handled it badly, I think setting boundaries in a marriage before things even come to this is also extremely important.  People have different definitions of cheating and things as simple as flirting can cross lines for some women whereas other women literally do not care as long as their husband’s penis stays out of another woman.  Making sure that you are always a known presence in your husband’s life can deter certain women but making sure your husband does not let a woman like me get too close for comfort is up to him.  Letting your husband know that you expect him to maintain boundaries and respect your relationship is something every woman has a right to do and if he’s unwilling to do it, how much does he really value the relationship?

 

Advertisements

About C.X.Love

I'm the woman that most females hate...I am the other woman in your relationship or in some cases just the woman your husband had an affair with...this MY side of the story, not that you care but maybe some of you can protect your relationships from me...or maybe some of you will just be entertained because my life is amazing...
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

31 Responses to Can you stop an affair before it happens?

  1. Socialkenny says:

    As much as we know that our wives or husbands should be that 1 person we can talk to and be best friends with;it just never work out that way lol!!

    I have a MILF GF.I do have sex with other chics and flirt.But a common theme I’m noticing is that I don’t have that chatty-chatty vibe with my GF.

    Not saying I mess around because my GF doesn’t talk to me.But it would help.

    • C.X.Love says:

      I’m just saying wives should be aware of these women and not threaten them…I’ve got a personality that makes me EVERYONE’S best friend…this threatens a LOT of women but them in turn threatening me is not the best way to handle a woman like me

  2. C says:

    Confronting the other woman just seems like a horrible idea to me. I understand the emotion that is involved in finding out that your husband has been with another woman, but it always has amazed me at how people let their feelings completely take over… There’s something to be said for keeping your wits about you when handling even the toughest situation… It doesn’t matter how you feel – the way you act and treat people is a conscious decision. Allowing emotion to “get the better of you” is an excuse, and only an excuse.

    • C.X.Love says:

      In situations where you’re unsure it is a terrible idea…but I’ve had plenty of civil conversations with women who wanted to know I guess what their husbands were really up to…I make it a rule that I never lie for a man so if his wife contacts me civilly and asks, I’ll have a conversation with her. By the time most women contact me they have their wits about them and realize that getting emotional gives me the upper hand anyway so they’re smart about it. I feel it has given a decent amount of them closure to the affair because I have actually received a few very nice emails thanking me for taking the time to speak with them and some of them have thanked me at the end of the conversation.

      I agree that allowing emotion to “get the better of you” is an excuse and only an excuse but I also think that directing all of their anger about an affair towards me is stupid. If they need to use me as a scapegoat that’s fine but the smart ones realize it’s really their husband who did something wrong to them not me.

  3. SeanMP says:

    I don’t want this to sound accusatory or mightier than thou, in fact it is 100% curiosity, but why do you go after married men?

    • C.X.Love says:

      I do not go after married men…they come after me and I have no issues with them being married……also I hook up with single men I just don’t blog about it…

      • SeanMP says:

        Asked and answered. To be honest, I have done the same thing (only with women) from time to time. Everyone always says I’m the bad person, but they never say anything about the person who was actually doing the cheating. Aren’t double standars nice. 🙂

      • C.X.Love says:

        IDK if you have read more posts in my blog but my attitude has always been…it’s not my relationship to worry about and if he doesn’t care about his relationship why should I

      • Socialkenny says:

        Wow,SeanMP getting in your ass right now CX lol.

        Let’s see you fight your way out of this one.

      • C.X.Love says:

        LOL I don’t need to fight my way out of anything he said…IDK why you think I’m such a fighter…

  4. Socialkenny says:

    BTW,I know blogging is anonymous for you,but have you ever shown your face as in posting pic in any of your blogs?

      • Socialkenny says:

        LMBAO why the hell not!

        We wanna know that you’re human lol.

        The beauty about bloggers who actuall have a face,is that readers more connect with them since they can see that they’re real ppl.

        We don’t know if your a computer mime or actual person.

        I wanna see.

      • C.X.Love says:

        Well…I guess people will have to keep guessing? I don’t want or need my face plastered around here as the affair princess or something (it will happen I’m pretty well known in the DC metro area and it only takes one person).

        I write my blog for myself and based on the emails I get daily I feel a decent amount of people have connected with me already…and if they haven’t/can’t um it’s their loss…plus keep in mind I’m a female and there’s a serious double standard for me sleeping around the way you and your boys sleep around….

  5. Socialkenny says:

    The e mails you get are from perves who wanna bang you and haven’t have the slightest idea how you look physically.

    And what BS about you blog for yourself?Don’t you care about readership?

    • C.X.Love says:

      The emails I get are mainly from women who have been cheated on…or mistresses who have fallen in love with a married man and need advice…some are just random relationship questions…I have NEVER gotten an email from a guy who wants to just bang me

      No, I really don’t care about readership…I write for me and apparently some other ppl enjoy reading it too but if they didn’t I would still blog…

  6. Socialkenny says:

    Wow!What a way to defecate in your readers’ faces.

    It’s all good.Some ppl just don’t take advice.

    • C.X.Love says:

      It’s like I do not appreciate my readers but at the same time the goal of my blog is not to maximize readers…it’s for me to share my stories and ideas with anyone who wants to read it..if that is one person great if it’s one million people great…if it’s no one great….

      I see no reason to post a picture here I think u just wanna see what I look like…

      • Socialkenny says:

        My “bullshit meter” is going off right now.

        If blogging was just a way for you to get your thoughts out there for yourself:then you’d just wwrite a journal aka personal diary!

        Why put it on the web?

        Women are narcissism queen,so there’s no way your blogging just for you.

        Plus you give advice and ask questions.Why would you give advice like in so many of your article titles if your blog was only meant for you and not your readers?

      • Socialkenny says:

        And you’re right:I do just wanna see how you look.

        So feel free to e-mail me a pic at jomo_loc@hotmail.com

      • C.X.Love says:

        If you had asked nicely I would have probably done it…it seems like you’re asking to start s**t based on your last few comments.

      • Socialkenny says:

        You notice I’m picking a fight?

      • C.X.Love says:

        Yep! Doesn’t really bother me though…

  7. Socialkenny says:

    @CX Love-My bad.You’re a lover not a fighter.

  8. I agree with you, that each person is responsible for their own relationship. I think there is little someone can do to stop their spouse from ‘going there’. I would speculate that when someone reaches out to do something against their promises, it is more about their own insecurities and value issues. Being present to your spouse is very important, but life is busy, and some need A LOT of attention. Oh, and I completely understand the desire to be anonymous. Sharing your stories do help others to evaluate their lives and relationships. 😉

    • C.X.Love says:

      Yes, one of my friend’s husbands admitted the three affairs he had were because of his own insecurities and they were able to move past those and build a more stable and secure relationship. I’m not really trying to be anonymous but the thing is I am pretty well known in my area and not every man I have had an affair with has been “caught” and if someone came across my blog and it was completely obvious who I was then it would be obvious who some of these men were…it’s more for their privacy than for mine, I’m pretty open about my life and my friends normally know what is going on but they keep their mouths shut.

      I’m glad to see based on your comment and the emails I get from women though that some have found help in whatever form they needed from my blog!

  9. Chen says:

    I wonder about your opinion i my situation. My boyfriend cheated on me and it was friend’s wife who happens to be his mistress. We already broke up but the thing is I slept with our friend several times after the break up. He don’t want to stop our communication but he don’t want to loose her wife.

  10. Chen says:

    I wonder about your opinion in my situation. My boyfriend cheated on me and it was our friend’s wife who happens to be his mistress. We already broke up but the thing is I slept with our friend several times after the break up. He don’t want to stop our communication but he don’t want to loose her wife.

  11. Tammy says:

    Your sick. Any suggestions about addressing the issue of telling your son and daughter that their father left them for a pig like you?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s