Fantasy meets reality

The past two nights BB has called me (the first time I have answered the phone since his freak out and it was only because the first time I was drunk)…before we crossed a line and made this physical I would say we were having what some people termed an “emotional affair”…from the first day I met BB he always found me easy to talk to and was quick to clarify that even though he could talk to wife (and often did talk to his wife)…I was easier to talk to and we just immediately clicked as friends.  I talked to him for awhile about how he has been since the last time we spoke…unlike other men I’ve been with BB and I had a lot more than sex and as guilty as he feels and as much as he realizes how wrong what he did was (not to mention he does not want to lose his wife and in laws) he also does not want to give up the connection he has with me and our friendship. 
I decided to be a real friend tell him to a certain extent I always knew his attraction to me existed which is why I normally kept boundaries between us (I knew how much he loved his wife) and how I knew this would happen eventually.  He thought about it for awhile and realized how many times I had stopped it from happening when he had been the drunk one and I had been the sober one but this time we were both drunk and things happened…when he clarified that he wasn’t as drunk as he was normally, I was quick to point out that he obviously wanted it to happen more than he was letting on and he thought about it for awhile.  He said I was a fantasy for him and always had been…it wasn’t that I was just easy to talk to but I was the supermodel looking friend who seemed so perfect that I was put on a temporary pedestal that his wife should have stayed on…I asked BB if he thought it was best for us to not speak anymore and he said no he needed his best friend in his life and then asked me if I thought he should tell his wife (there are theories that if a man cheats ONCE and will never do it again he should live with the guilt and never say anything) and I didn’t have an answer for him…knowing him so well I know what he’d be giving up and I still think our friendship might be dangerous since we’ve crossed that line once already but he’s been worse without me according to him (anxiety attacks, not feeling okay at work which is not okay since he is a cop and as he says desperately missing me as a friend) so I’m not sure what to do for him as a friend. 

BB is an affair I’ve never dealt with before…I normally do not have these men so close to me but hearing I was a fantasy for him (I am for a lot of men) that became a reality that should not have ever happened makes me wonder what the best thing to do for my friend is…but as the other woman I try to stay removed from that decision or having an opinion on it but I wish his fantasy had stayed in his head…


About C.X.Love

I'm the woman that most females hate...I am the other woman in your relationship or in some cases just the woman your husband had an affair with...this MY side of the story, not that you care but maybe some of you can protect your relationships from me...or maybe some of you will just be entertained because my life is amazing...
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