Long Term Affairs

Unless I am in a relationship, I am usually involved in at least one long term affair (typically this man also fits a “sugar daddy” description but I’m not a fan of using that term for him) at any given time…I actually enjoy these more than the casual types of affairs but these types of affairs also have the most extreme affects on a marriage…..I’ve noticed with casual affairs a lot of couples seem to be able to decide within a matter of weeks if they will get over it and move on or if they are going to end their marriage….the women who have men involved in long term affairs seem to need a lot more time to analyze the situation and some are in such shock they pretend to a turn a blind eye to what is going on and almost ignore their husband’s affair until it reaches a point they cannot ignore….here are few of the long term affairs I consider memorable and my opinions on a reconciliation 

DG’s wife knew about our affair before it happened and the entire time it was going on which was a few years but she never said a word about it until her husband came to my house on his birthday one year when she had planned to do things with him and the family and fell asleep there…she didn’t fly off the handle about it but I guess she had years to deal with her initial feelings of knowing her husband was sleeping with me and spending time and money on me…after blowing up phone for a few hours she left me a long message telling me I was a beautiful, talented and smart young woman so it seemed extremely unfair that I would have to take her husband…….unfortunately for her, her husband picked me…I assume she gave him an ultimatum after that because he told me he wanted to file for divorce and get serious with me but I told him that I had no desire for that or to become a stepmother…
DG and I are still extremely close…we talk numerous times a week and when he’s having a rough time he still comes over…we’re not as physical as we used to be and I’m pretty sure his wife is still aware that I hold a place in his life…I’m not sure how she feels about that and quite frankly I don’t care either…
If I was DG’s wife I would not have considered this a marriage worth working on…DG apparently made it clear from the beginning that he was interested in me because her first call to me was a threat to leave her husband alone when I originally had no intention of doing anything with her husband….he was also blatantly uncaring about her feelings most of the time not bothering to explain the extra charges on their credit card statements…not having good excuses for bringing me around their children and often making up blatant lies to spend more time with me….even now, I am pretty sure she is “stuck” with him because of a strong prenup or she’s waiting for their two youngest children to get out of the house because DG has never hidden that we still see each other

AP this is one of the most random affairs ever and seems like it’s straight out of a trashy romance novel…AP and I actually hated each other when we first met and did nothing but argue and looking back now maybe that was sexual tension on his part…this affair started before AP was actually married and looking back I wonder sometimes why people go through with marriage knowing what they have done…after the first time AP and I were together it seemed he couldn’t get enough of me…I stayed with him many nights and it wasn’t just physical if he was having a bad day he often wanted me to come over to his condo and just cuddle with him and talk…one weekend when he was with his then fiancee he spent the entire weekend texting and calling me and when I saw him on Monday I asked him how she felt about that (I do not think most women enjoy a man openly spending his time with them on the phone)…his response was along the lines of I don’t care what she thinks what bothers me so much is the feelings I have for you knowing that I’m about to get married….the odd thing about this down the line I became friends with AP’s wife and even ended up as a guest at their wedding but I knew she always suspected something was going on between us (maybe we became close because of a keep your friends close and your enemies closer in her eyes)…she never had a serious confirmation between us about an affair but she did see a suspect text message which lead to her asking AP a bunch of questions…we ended the physical part of this affair but AP still texts me almost daily and calls me a few times a week and will always express a desire to be physically close to me…
I think the type of marriage that AP and his wife have can be salvaged…I personally think emotional cheating is the worst it seems as if AP is slowly readjusting to his marriage…I like to think maybe he’ll get over unresolved emotions he has for me (if they’re real)…however I still wonder why he walked down the isle knowing how he felt…however he’d been with his fiancee for 5 years before me so hopefully this is just a phase…

WW actually had permission from his wife to find ONE lady who she needed to approve of before she would let him and after she decided I was not a threat she willingly allowed WW and I to get together as long as it didn’t stop him from spending “family time”…she was clearly unhappy with his decision to have an affair but it seemed that the only compromise she could come to was to try and control his cheating…I stopped seeing WW because he became too controlling (I do not think a married man has any right to tell me who I can and cannot spend time with) and his wife sent me many emails and text messages asking me to stick around because apparently he threatened to find any random girl but that wasn’t my issue to deal with…
I would not have stayed with WW simply because a man who is that inconsiderate of my feelings and uncaring about what I wanted for our relationship wouldn’t deserve to be with me…I am always shocked when women are willing to put up with so much crap from a man that a man is simply not willing to put up with from them….

I have heard long terms affairs can help a marriage and I honestly think if you need a long term affair to help your marriage it’s quite far gone already (this obviously excludes the special situations where couples have mutual agreements or open relationships) and maybe a civil end to the marriage is best for you.  In each of the cases where a wife has found out about a long term affair she has taken months to decide what to do about her marriage and I find that odd…these wives are also the ones who seems to have deeper questions about what was going on and maybe that’s because these are also the types of affairs where emotions get involved…I am emotionally cold as a person and never trick myself into thinking anything will come from an affair so I do not allow myself to develop feelings for these married men (I have to protect myself during these affairs too, I have seen many other women get hurt) but feelings can come from either side and often in my case a man does not have an easy time letting go…

If your husband has had a long term affair I would definitely recommend attempting to civilly contact the other woman if you have serious doubts but i would also watch your husband’s behavior once he has been caught…if he’s a bit too uncaring that says a lot right there…don’t trick yourself into thinking something can be saved when both parties aren’t willing to save it and don’t lower yourself to an almost desperate standard by holding onto a relationship that is not there simply because you’re desperate to have a man 

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About C.X.Love

I'm the woman that most females hate...I am the other woman in your relationship or in some cases just the woman your husband had an affair with...this MY side of the story, not that you care but maybe some of you can protect your relationships from me...or maybe some of you will just be entertained because my life is amazing...
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4 Responses to Long Term Affairs

  1. Socialkenny says:

    Wow a serial-affair artist!!That’s revolutionary lol.

    You seem to have this(long-term affair) down to an art,or at least know the ins and outs of it.Would this be something you’d advise a few women on(like in a how-to)?No pun intended.

    • C.X.Love says:

      Ha! I feel like I have the art of being the other woman down to an art…I know the ins and outs of it and I’m not sure I could advise other women on it because a lot of it involves things like keeping emotions in check…knowing how to make a man feel at ease…being an almost perfect date…etc…I know what works for me and I could advise women to the best of my ability but every affair is different in its own special way…

  2. C says:

    I’m new to the “other woman” business. You write very well – I’ll continue to read. Thank you!

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