Contacting the other woman

So, after numerous requests and a heartfelt email yesterday I’ll suck it up and write this but I’m not even sure where to start…I’m not a professional and can only offer my advice on this topic but I’ll do my best…

Should you contact the other woman?
I honestly think most women should contact her, it can give them closure to the affair in their mind but there are some guidelines I think you should follow:

-do not contact her while you are emotional…from my experience even though I’m willing to speak to a wife I’m not willing to sit and have insults thrown at me and normally that is what an overly emotional female will do and if I’m feeling really mean I can throw insults back at her knowing what will really hurt (I did sleep with your husband and a lot of times you are feeling insecure)

-speak with your husband first…depending on your actual level of trust this can be good or bad but most women know when a man is lying and it will allow you to have an upper hand in the conversation because you do not have to take everything the woman tells you at face value and as the truth (keep in mind if you are trying to reconcile your marriage this woman might want your man so do not let her get in your head)

-keep the conversation to the point…get the information you want and leave it at that, you do not want to let her get in your head or even give you advice on your relationship…find out what you want to know from her and don’t torture yourself while doing so…I had one woman ask me for a play by play only to find out her husband apologized for the affair and then told her he wasn’t sorry that it ultimately happened because I was the most amazing sex he had ever had…I’m sure hearing that play by play crushed her even more…

Those are the main points I can give anyone when contacting a lady their husband has had an affair with but this is based on my experience and most of these women are lucky that I will NEVER allow myself to get feelings for a married man so I had no interest in destroying their relationship…

My answers to some common questions…

Women typically ask me the same questions when they contact me and I’ll try to answer some of them because I feel that for some of you it might help since you cannot contact the other woman or will not contact the other woman…

Did I know he was married?
The answer to this question has only ever been “no” one time and that guy was the scum of the Earth so yes I knew he was your husband but if he didn’t care about your marriage…why should I?

Did he speak about me?
Most of the time yes and believe it or not it was not always negative…your husband probably shared a lot about your relationships problems with me or if he wanted only sex he occasionally spoke about how wrong it was and how he shouldn’t do what he did but you weren’t satisfying him enough

Did he ever express feelings for you?
A lot of married men will but not all of them mean it sometimes it’s just spur of the moment…if he did mean it most of the time a wife knew her relationship had issues as well and sensed something stronger than just an affair was going on…I’ve been told “I love you” by plenty of married men who are still married and felt guilty about what they did so they obviously cared about their wife…..

How long did this affair go on?
Most of the men I am with are long term affairs…a few are one time or short term but a lot of them were content to go on until you found out or until one of us grew tired…

What did you do with my husband?
I try not to give a literal play by play here but believe it or not once again it wasn’t always sex…a lot of men take me on “dates”, trips, just wanted to get together to talk, etc…not every affair I have is just about sex (most aren’t)

Why do you do this?
I honestly love my life…some men are sugar daddies to me (I’m not ashamed to admit it) and most of the time I get every benefit of being in a relationship without the inconvenience of actually dealing with the relationship…some women claim if you have been cheated on you would never do this to another person but I have been cheated on by men and it doesn’t stop me from being available if a man wants to cheat….

 

Hopefully this is along the lines of what some of you were looking for and I’m sure it’s given some of you insight on how to keep the other woman out of your marriage

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About C.X.Love

I'm the woman that most females hate...I am the other woman in your relationship or in some cases just the woman your husband had an affair with...this MY side of the story, not that you care but maybe some of you can protect your relationships from me...or maybe some of you will just be entertained because my life is amazing...
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8 Responses to Contacting the other woman

  1. Socialkenny says:

    I was gonna ask if you’d contact the other woman until I read the first paragraphs that you should.

    I mean,I’m on the fences about this.I watched an episode of MTv’s True Life,and a couple was going through similar things(affairs),and the woman wanted to contact the other.Doesn’t seem plausible in all cases(unless closure needed).

    • C.X.Love says:

      I personally wouldn’t go out of my way to contact the other woman…there are deal breakers in a relationship to me cheating is not one but certain circumstances around cheating can be…I’ve been reading a LOT of other blogs and it seems like many women need closure from the affair and I have found if their husband’s penis has been in a girl like me that talking to me gives it to them.
      I feel like many women cannot control their emotions enough to have a civil conversation with “the other woman” and if a woman calls me throwing insults at me…I will throw them right back at her and I know how to make words hurt, so do most women for that matter but after an affair a wife is already at an emotional low point.

  2. Elena says:

    I am so glad I found this…I had ideas about contacting the other woman, correction women, (at least I get to know what they do not- they all felt so special, while my husband scheduled one for the morning, next for his lunch, and third for the evening…actually sending out the exact same text messages verbatim to all of them, about how much he missed them and what a great sex he had with them- anyone actually falls for that crap? Apparently so…), but now after having read this I will not contact them AND I can feel good about it. What a loss of time and why on earth would I want to give them the satisfaction? Apparently, attention, power and control is what this is all about. And I would be damned if I gave her that.

  3. Brenda says:

    I have been married 18yrs and together 20+. We have had a good marriage until approx 5yrs ago we started having marital issues. He has had his mistakes and I have had mine. 5yrs ago his parents split up and 5yrs ago I lost my father. After loosing my father and dealing with his parents splitting up I felt lost. I didn’t know if I was where I wanted to be amongst going out partying, being egnorant rude back forth by him and I being accused of cheating but I have never cheated in 20yrs we’ve been together a few months ago it got very bad. I told lies to him and friend also told people we were getting seperated having issues problems. I finally realized I needed to do something after loosing a friend to suicide. My husband left the home and it got worse I was hurting because he wasn’t here but shit him out. We were intimate thru out and not he left and went to another country for vacation by himself and was with a 24 yr old women in other country. Now he is confused and back and forth. Shutting his kids out and me. He does tell me and kids he loves me but then says he need time to think and can’t talk. Please help me I don’t know what to do…

  4. mikki says:

    Yeah I would not be contacting anyone. Women have more leverage than we know. I’m that other woman too but I have been cheated on also. It doesn’t really hurt that bad because I have cheated myself. I never go crazy on the other woman though. Maybe it is easy for me to say because I am that woman most women hate anyway. I am tall, voluptuous in all the right places with hair down to my waist. I am amazed though at your comment that women ponder more over ending a long term affair than a short one.

  5. No name says:

    I think that your answers are an easy out for you. What you are doing is wrong it doesn’t matter what the circumstances are. The longer the affair continues the more damage it does. It’s easy for you to say what you do is not your fault but if the wife is asking you to step away surely it is something you should seriously consider even if the husband is too weak to to be the one that breaks it off. As far as I understand you haven’t married any of these men so what is the big deal about complying to a wife’s request???

  6. Laura says:

    Is there anyways to get back my husband. He is having affair with his work collecuge, who is already married and have 2 kids. When i first came to know we fought, i cried, beg, did everything.
    He wants me to go home for a while so that he can value me. He told me so many times to break up with him but i dont want to end up our 10years relationship.
    I did chat with her without using any slang or rude word, but she is not ready to leaveher husband nor mine. I m bit confuse here. What should i do?

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