So, I guess I should be slightly flattered at the colorful emails I received from some of you and one of the constant issues was how I am intentionally hurting other “innocent” females…I’ll never outright say the woman is to blame in an affair but as a woman you are responsible for taking care of certain needs of your husband…I almost feel as if the feminine movement has gone much too far…so this next affair is obviously one that’s not so recent but I felt the need to share because females are not always so innocent….
I met DG when I was just starting high school and he had been happily married for 7 years at that point…I met him because I was actually dating one of his employees at the time and he became almost like an uncle to me……..he was in his early 30’s which was old enough to have life experience but young enough to understand how much it sucked to be a teenager. I can’t say I pursued him but we did chat on and off for YEARS and my relationship with him obviously outlasted my short lived relationship with his employee. He was always there for me through break ups, bad grades, parent issues, etc. as a voice of reason and understanding and even the couple times I did try flirting with him he’d say he was flattered but happily married and he was no longer interested in random hook ups.
I even got to see his “happy marriage” first hand because about a year after I met him his wife hired me to be their babysitter. His children loved me, he loved me and both of them trusted me with their children so you couldn’t get much better than that in terms of a sitter…plus I had fairly strict parents (believe it or not) so even if I was babysitting it was a treat for me to get out of the house. I can’t say a change in their relationship happened overnight but I gradually saw it even as an outsider and talking to DG so much he started to confide in me…at the time I was about 17 so I figured that marriage counseling was the best thing I could suggest to him…I guess he figured I wasn’t qualified to give him any sound advice other then that but he did take my suggestion and present it to his wife…over the next eight months I watched him beg his wife to go with him so they could work on their relationship and I continued to hear the stories and watch through the many visits to the house (as their babysitter) the once happy family I knew slowly rip apart at the seams…
I really knew there were serious issues with this marriage when DG stopped being flattered by my flirting but he started returning my advances and even admitting a few times that he intentionally avoided being around me because he couldn’t control himself…he was however still like a caring uncle and this was about the time I hit my wild party stage…he was often the responsible one in my life leaving his office after a long day and night of work to pick my friends and I up from a bar or a house party and drop us off at home which probably saved my life so many times and for that I will always be grateful….
The first night DG and I ever did anything I remember clearly even though at that point I was closer to having an alcohol blood level instead of a blood alcohol level…I could tell he was trying to avoid going home and he had driven my best friend and I to her house and took me inside to her guest room…normally at this point he would’ve left so I was surprised when I came out of the bathroom half naked and he was still sitting on the bed…luckily I’ve never been shy about being naked and well the alcohol didn’t help much either but at that point I wanted him and I couldn’t care less about what that would do to the relationships in his life….I climbed under the covers and turned on the TV and let him sit there for a bit before asking him if he wanted to join me under the covers…he spooned me for awhile and started kissing the back of my neck before whispering “why can’t you be her”…as much as I did not really want to know the answer I asked him if “her” was his wife and he nodded so I responded with “pretend I’m her, just for tonight”…even to this day years later I’ve never had a man show the passion that DG showed that night and it was amazing, even now he’s one of the most passionate men I have sex with and I have to wonder how his wife can just miss out on that…….
I’m not sure what DG told his wife the next day or for the next few months but I think she knew what was going on but did not want to ask because confirming it would just be making a nightmare real to her but sadly when her husband blew her off for me on his 40th birthday she could no longer ignore it…she left me a long message that night on my cell phone asking me how and why I could take her husband from her so I sent her a simple text which she never responded to…”you pushed him away and into my bed”
I’m not sure where or how this will end because it hasn’t ended yet…she refuses to divorce him for whatever reasons and DG will always hold a place in my life…even if we’re not always intimate with each other…..
Granted there are two sides to every story but DG never pretended to be a perfect husband or a perfect father…if a man is being pushed away though every time he tries to fix something you’ll eventually push him into another woman’s bed…