I always laugh when women call me with their little threats about “leave my husband alone”…and then I get a text/call from their husband later on apologizing for their wife and asking when we can get together again…I don’t know what these women are thinking but they need to realize the man they married is an adult and will make his own decisions…
First off, if you want the other woman out of your relationship your husband needs to tell her…he is the one who invited me in and should be the one who tells me to leave…if he doesn’t tell me to leave and stick to his guns about it, that should give you a hint about how serious he is about ending the affair…if your husband isn’t serious about getting rid of me…there is absolutely NO WAY for you to get rid of me…
If your husband is willing to get rid of me then after that it is up to you…I know plenty of men who have come running back to me because their wives would pick fights since they were unable to get an affair out of their head…I think most women hold onto the hurt and pain because they are unsure how to get over it but at the same time they also seem to think it is ammo for every fight/argument in the future…I have always thought it was unfair to tell a man you want to work on a relationship and continue to throw an affair in his face everyday…you’re also not doing much to repair your broken relationship…
There’s no easy way to get over what your husband did but if you agree to trust him again you need to work on building that trust but hounding your husband everyday, doing random drive bys of where he is supposed to be, obsessively searching the phone bill, giving yourself anxiety when he says he’s going on a business trip, etc…that’s not real trust and you need to slowly build that back up and work on getting your relationship stronger and stalking your husband while claiming fake trust is not the best way to do that…you can start out using the trust but verify method and most importantly keep the lines of communication open but eventually you’re going to have to trust your husband when he steps away to take a phone call or comes home late and realize that even though he made bad decisions in the past he is not making them now (if you believe he is…why are you with him?)
As the other woman I’m often asked how I would feel if my man cheated on me…and there is no easy answer to this…I think it would come down to the reason he cheated…unlike most women cheating is NOT a deal breaker to me in a relationship (I say this all the time but I suppose I should explain it)…I am okay working through cheating if it was a drunk one night stand that accidentally happened or if there are underlying issues in the relationship that we can work on and fix (both of us need to be willing to work on them) but some of the circumstances around cheating are deal breakers for me…if my man broke plans with me to be another woman, was uncaring about my feelings and blatantly lied to me (not just hiding the truth but actually lying) to carry on the affair I do not think I would get over those things…mainly because it shows such a blatant disregard for a woman’s feelings and a lack of respect for her that there is no point dealing with someone like that (he’s most likely the type that will continue to cheat anyway)…
I think a lot of people seem to forget that we get into relationships to relate to each other and that involves good times and bad times…you open yourselves up because you feel the risks outweigh the possibility of getting hurt and yes, finding out your husband has been with a woman like me hurts a LOT but if your husband is trying to work on his mistake and get me out your relationship…maybe you should try to also..we’re all human we all make mistakes…sadly some have worse consequences than others but should you base your ENTIRE relationship on one mistake? and if you’re so quick to call a relationship quits every time it gets hard….how real was your relationship to begin with?
beltwaybangin 
LOVE. THIS. POST.
Thank you!
Someone very soon may find u or your twin laying bleeding out with the one u engage with next u with the same fate. U and like you are the very reason so many men have little respect for women and hurt their familys. You lack moral, value and character. Happy fate so many are tired and are broken. Men included, it really wouldn’t take much for a well connected wife to get rid of you. You are very foolish to think otherwise. Good Luck, you are certainly one who needs it…
Will you please start blogging again!?? We appreciate your viewpoint.
I Second that
Pre-mature marrying is what this comes down to for me.
And that’s why I don’t advocate marrying young.
Women need to understand that as long as a man feels that he’s still attractive,still capable,still desired by decent amounts of women:there’s a high probability of him screwing around.
And that’s why I always say that the only guys in the world who would never contemplate affairs are the ones with LSE(low self esteem),lack of confidence,etc.They don’t believe that other women are attracted to them.
I don’t advocate marrying young either…BUT I honestly believe EVERY man has it in him to cheat…
Let’s not forget women now.Women cheat way more than men.Way more.Would you agree or do I have to come with my figures?
I don’t sleep with women hahaha but if I were to base my knowledge off my female friends…you are correct but I do not think most women go into relationships with the mindset to cheat…a lot of men do
Sorry Kenny, but I must say that I disagree with the “marrying young” bit. If you research a bit, you would see that many married men who cheat are in their 40s. Still, I get what you’re saying.
I sleep with mostly older men who are in their 40’s like you said… BUT most of them got married in their early 20’s…I remember one guy telling me he didn’t have a burning desire to cheat he just wanted to feel what it was like to be with another woman because he had been with his wife since high school and he was 43….common thread…I’ve never felt that men should get married before the age of 30(ish)…
Not true. Many insecure men cheat because they don’t feel good about themselves. They crave the attention another woman gives them. It makes them feel wanted. They normally don’t end up with particularly good looking women. But they can usually find someone who is willing to take pity on them and make them feel good about themselves. In my opinion, these women are pathetic because they don’t get to enjoy the great parts of a relationship. All they get is to suck a dick a few times, take pity on a whining man, and get kicked to the curb when the woman finds out. But who knows. Maybe that’s what they’re into…
Aubrey seems a bit bitter…
I agree 100%! They just want to see if they still “got it” and I think they go for less attractive/lse women bc it’s a done deal, hell they are happy to have any male attention…even if it’s only for a night or even a few hours during the day when hes away from his DW. Smh
I agree, Aubrey. These men affair down because it’s about their ego. Halle Berry, Sandra Bullock, Eva Longoria and Elin Nordegren were all cheated on. And their men picked less attractive trash to cheat on them with..It’s about attention and ego. And who is going to give a man the biggest ego stroke? The less attractive, needy, pathetic woman with fewer options. That’s why Halle Berry would never be a mistress. The girl has too many options. Less options, less attractive = desperate side whore. and when they brag about it, it’s even sadder.
Lol, your comment is interesting; All they do is get to suck on their dicks a few times and therefore they are pathetic? Lol, pathetic…. Pathetic is the idiot living at home seriously believing and behaving as though they are the girl with the golden twat. Marriage gets boring! Only a few people dare say. Sure, companionship is good, but many friends also make great companions. If you think that the only thing that a mistress gets from a man is to suck a little dick, you are well on your way to having a few hanging from the tip of your man’s extension. Obviously, you don’t understand men or human nature. Still drinking the pre-school fairytale cool aide, huh?
Yea ur the stupid bitch who dont leave well enough alone I gave my stupid husband 8years to change thank god I left that insecure person
Agreed 100% Aubrey! CXLove get over your cheating self already.
Aubrey now what YOU said is true! The other woman …
Not so sure about you. wonder what you would really do if you were married and your husband
Fell in love or emotion with another woman and slept with her and Carried on an affair with
A skank for many years what would you do .. You can’t say until YOU actually experience it.
Aubrey you are 100 percent
Correct!
I so agree. Because my husband chested.
I was the wife for 15 years and I am now the other woman. The person I am seeing he is definitely not affairing down. I hold a double masters degree…. I am considered well above average in exotic looks…. I am well above average in fit…. I have my own career with full pension plan which I am 11 years into …. I have my own personal retirement account…. I am financially responsible and I have no credit card bills and my vehicle is paid for ….. I have no children…..
How I went from being wife to the other woman is a tragedy but also a success story in its own right…. Yes I said a success story because being the other woman taught me how much I allowed myself to be a victim when I was the wife. I took back my cereal cheating husband more than once and instead of focusing on whether or not we should continue the marriage I chose to blame her and he later married her.
Your claim about how these other women are pathetic I would have agreed with you before I had become the other woman. And a great part of my marriage was dealing with a serial cheater while paying the bills and doing laundry. As far as the great parts of our relationship I’m not sure where to look.
The person I am seeing … His wife knows about me and ha’s called me 15 times in the last month. I know exactly how she feels I was there . I also know how we as wives contribute to our own position of victim and we do that by looking at our man as a possession instead of truly evaluating if the marriage should continue . We don’t want the marriage to end because we are comfortable financially materialistically and even if our relationship is dysfunctional were used to that too .
The author is correct the affair does not end unless the husband wants it to end … Her calling me 15 times and leaving a voicemail that said and I quote go find your own man was immediately followed up with the call him her husband saying he has no intention of ending it with me as he and I have actually become really good friends.
This is not always about sex like people think it is…. and remember my spouse left me and Married his affair partner who is actually a better match for him than I was after 15 years of marriage.
Accepting a cheater over and over again allows us to be in denial about the true state of our marriage and to focus on the other woman . The other woman is not going away unless your husband demands it of her. So you as a wife have to do what is best for you . And that may include having a sitdown conversation that I should’ve had with my spouse and asking are we right for each other now .
I think we often times want to cling to the person we married 15 years ago but if we were in our 20s and 30s that could be a very different person at 50 . The fault is not of the other woman and I now realize that . I also know from experience that unless he wants her to go she’s not going anywhere and he may even wind up leaving to marry her. Denial serves nothing and neither does calling the other woman .
On the contrary, a man with low self esteem is an easy target, bc he may be so flattered by attention.
That is a lie..because a real confident man a is the one who doesnt need to be surrounded with women..since he knew that he has nothing to prove to himself that he is a confident man.
Your wrong about that my husband hand an affair when he felt at his lowest. He hated himself and was in a depression had very low self worth but was in denial about getting any help. He never went out looking or initiating it, she was the agressor and it made him feel better about himself wich was only temporary of course. But the attention of someone new boosted his ego. Its really sad because the pain and anger are unbelievable. To find out your entire relationship and lives seemed like a lie especially when u have children. Its so unbelievably selfish.
Decent point about mindsets.
Thank you, what’s funny is this is an entry that gets a lot of hits from people searching “how to get rid of my husband’s mistress” or something similar…um I assume that’s a wife looking it up and it makes me wonder why the hell they aren’t making their husband get rid of his mistress
when you realize your husband is a pathological liar….there is no point in speaking to him.
yes, certainly the husband is to blame.
but i suspect the mistress on the other hand has likely been fed a string of lies, and also has a very naive and jaded version of the truth. in some cases, she may not even know the man is married.
there is also some reward for the wife, because it’s letting everyone know they are not half as smart as they think they are.
i suppose if both parties are sex addicts, then it really is a match in heaven. come clean and hook up.
if you have to sneak around for any reason then chances are…you shouldn’t be doing it (whatever that maybe).
Nobody needs to ger rid of a mistress u will just get out yourself if u know what is good for u mabey the ex wife has so much dirt that the bitch and him can get out and live all large and in charge in ur own house together karmas a bitch hahaha
That was always silly to me. I wouldn’t call up the other woman-she doesn’t owe me anything; I’m not married to her. Now if she is a friend of mine, that’s a different story. But at the end of the day, I’ll just get rid of my husband. Problem solved
I don’t think it’s silly to want to know details of an affair if a woman plans on staying married to a man and wanting to work through an affair…different things work for different couples…
I personally do not feel like I owe these women anything but at the same time I did sleep with their man so if they’re gonna be respectful I’ll give them a conversation…
you’re a bitch plain and simple. Some day I hope a woman who’s feelings you didn’t value, whom you felt so superior too and free to judge, kicks your ass. Maybe if she knocked all your teeth out you’d think twice about messing around with someone’s husband.
Just sayin.
You don’t respect boundaries or other women but you expect respect. Classic narcissim. Found this blog via a link on another site where men were discussing what a self absorbed narcissistic skank you were. See, there are men out there who wouldn’t touch your used up pu$$y.
Ditto to Michelle’s comment. Although you will probably delete these both because we’re not respectful to poor little self absorbed you.
Would if the ex wife dont need to talk to its between them u can stay your happy ass out of it
Damn right. Thats what l did. I told him to pack his belongings and take my stepchildren (his) to her or whomever. Since then l have furthered my education and date whomever when l feel like it. l miss his presence from time to time but thats about it. He wants me to get the divorce. Nooo hunty….she got you in your mess…let her get you out. You have husband title but not the queen you married. Bih done me a favor and took out the trash ;-*
So i think my fiancee is cheating. Hes an attractive chiropractor with a ridiculous senye of entitlement. We have definetly had issues some with me not working due to a tumor removal i recently had. He seems to fancy a woman at work. Hes made comments about her or the other doctor he works with ive seen him text compliments about her ass. He says we were apart at that time. Now that im healed and back to my fit 120 lbs self i feel i should return him the favors of stress and anxiety, but ive arrainged a few dates behind his back and have not been able to go through with it. Id like for us to just work through it not sure if its the best idea… Any suggestions???
Cheating at each other doesn’t really work…if you’re not secure in your relationship and you’re not willing to go to therapy or something to work it out then what is the point in staying in the relationship?
My suggestion would be decide if this relationship is worth it to you and if it is you guys should probably seek couples therapy…it sounds like you need to learn to trust him again and maybe set some boundaries on your relationship
Yea leave his ass – don’t get married!!
Yea. Leave his ass- don’t get married!!
In my case ‘the other woman’ actually befriended me, she is also married and she and her husband became our friends, this was after she fell in love with my husband. So for 2 years I thought we had met a really nice couple. Our extended friends and family also got involved, they got to know our friends and we theirs. We even went on holidays together. Until I found out what was really going on. My husband and I are working things out and addressing the issues that have led to the affair. I don’t actually blame her for the affair, I understand that was to do with problems in my marriage, but I blame her for being so duplicitous and involving others in her elaborate lie. Now I simply cannot get rid of her without everyone asking what happened. And she keeps messaging and asking how we are doing, if we are still together, etc. I promised not to tell her husband as they have 2 children and I don’t want to break up their family but I really need her to go away so I can focus on fixing my marriage. Any ideas or comments would be greatly appreciated.
Say it like it is. Tell her you need space and time to heel your marriage. If she can’t respect that, why should you give her respect in saving her marriage?… threaten to tell. No bs
It has nothing to do with you your husband just wanted some extra pussy… And nothing has changed he still does.
I don’t laugh at all when I hear of women like you!
A life shares love commitment a family and all of the things that go with having a soul mate.
sadly alot of men have * women* like you at their disposal so extra marital sex is easy but sex is all it is so a shallow existence is all you have /: grow the fuck up and find a healthy relationship and stop playing with a man who’s not and never yours!!!
They don’t necessarily belong to their wives either. Therein lies the conundrum. PEOPLE are NOT property. The moment we start to see our husbands that way is the moment we open up the playing field for cheating. He isn’t YOUR man just because you married him. You have agreed to go through life together. You have agreed to honor and cherish, but are you cherishing him, when he is bored and fantasizing about threesomes, wild sex, if he is watching porn, or feels like looking at magazines and jerking off, NO! You are probably fighting with him, depriving him of his sexuality,, seriously believing that you alone can satisfy him. What are we 17 years old? WAKE THE FUCK UP! If you cannot accompany him in his sexuality, libido, and wild side, HE WILL CHEAT, because you are BORING FUCK! And it does not matter that he loves you, he has needs. Little by little, those needs will be met by another women, and he will leave you, if you don’t wake up. Oh, and yes! Men do leave their wives for their mistresses. It isn’t so uncommon in cultures other than mainstream American, and guess who is winning your men over? You got it foreign women. Yup! It does not matter what you call the other woman, home wrecker, slut, whore… Name calling does not change the fact that you lost, because you are boring! And it isn’t about competition. The other woman knows that there is nothing different between her legs, it’s the other comforts that lured him away.
Classic to call the wife boring. I’m sure it makes you feel better about yourself to say that. It’s not true. It is true that a wife can’t be new, can’t be hidden, can’t sneak around, has to raise children, work, grocery shop, and talk to him about the yard work. All boring. You need to do some research. You are not an expert, but Frank Pittman is…and according to his research,
“A lesser known fact is that those who divorce rarely marry the person with whom they are having the affair. For example, Dr. Jan Halper’s study of successful men (executives, entrepreneurs, professionals) found that very few men who have affairs divorce their wife and marry their lovers. Only 3 percent of the 4,100 successful men surveyed eventually married their lovers.”
Frank Pittman has found that the divorce rate among those who married their lovers was 75 percent. THEY DON’T STAY MARRIED TO THEIR GIRLFRIENDS EVEN IF THEY ARE DELUSIONAL ENOUGH TO LEAVE THEIR NICE WIFE, THEIR NICE LIFE AND DO IT. The reasons for the high divorce rate when they marry the girlfriend include: intervention of reality (oh, yeah…remember the lawn that has to be mowed??) guilt, unrealistic expectations,(it was, after all a fun-only relationship), a general distrust of marriage, and a distrust of the affairee. Surprise, surprise…you guys don’t trust each other because you are both liars. You are not better in bed, you are just new, and you are hidden…therefore thrilling. Most of the time you are less attractive…just more desperate. Clearly. It’s true
Most of the time, men “affair down” to build their ego. In general, this means that the person someone cheats with tends not to be as attractive, interesting, engaging, etc. as the primary partner who is being cheated on. Rick Reynolds, LCSW says…
“I have never seen a situation where I felt an individual “affaired up”- meaning that they end up with a better person. It may seem like a better decision at the time, but it will prove it to be a step down.” If nothing else, it will be a step down in terms of maturity, character, integrity, intelligence, loyalty, spirituality, sincerity, etc. To a smarter woman than you, this should be common sense. You are less than….accept it.
As a kind person, I also find it fascinating that you do not consider the impact on another woman (yes…you demonstrate selfishness, lack of compassion) and please, please tell me how you can justify the impact on his children?? Here is what they learn:
“They learn how to take advantage of their friends and family when there is something in it for them. They learn how to disregard others’ suffering because they have a right to enjoy life to the fullest regardless of the impact on others. Work on your friendships to improve them? No. Leave. Find someone else. Seek a distractions that builds your ego. All wayward spouses hurt the people they care about the most. Wayward spouses rationalize that they had to look out for themselves which is why they developed the relationship outside of their marriage in the first place. Their actions seem to benefit themselves in the short term, but it has disastrous effects on members of their family.” Immaturity. Poor impulse control by both people. Usually high alcohol use and a family pattern of addiction.
You were a part of it. You encouraged it. You allowed it. And what happened to the rest of the family doesn’t matter because you tell yourself that the wife is boring. Did she seek counseling? I’ll bet she did. Did she talk to her husband, ask him want his need were, try to meet his needs?? You bet she did. You are very stupid if you think she didn’t try to save her marriage even as her husband lied to her face.
Rationalize your behavior all you want. You are selfish. You are cruel. You are the boring one. Waiting for someone who has a a family to find time for you? Standing on the sidelines of someone’s life like a desperate stalker? You want the dog too? Some old shoes? CREATE YOUR OWN LIFE. You are not glamorous. You are pathetic and sad and lonely. Leave other people’s lives alone. Have some respect for yourself and others. You had to be ignored or neglected by men at some point in your life to think this is fun. You’re a crumb catcher, a pathetic beggar that makes yourself feel better by creating drama.
He isn’t going to leave his wife for you because his wife is a better person.
Oh, and by the way? The wife doesn’t care about you either. Not a bit. And karma is a bitch, so be prepared.
Yea sleeping with a marries man and living in her house isnt so smart eaither one day u will be removes and charged that will be funny than see how much u love the guy hahaha manipulators suck but I can work wiyh them hahaha
Lol you are trying sooooooo hard to justify the fact that you’re just the side chick that he goes to get some ass from. I keep seeing you trying to correct these angry women who have probably been cheated on .. It almost seems like you are replying to that guitarist’s wife in some weird way … Or maybe that’s just me but I’m so curious to know what ended up happening what that guy … Hmmm you seem to have become emotionally attached but I bet you he soooo didn’t leave his wife for youuuu lol
Well said. I have to agree Solbe.
No, you are NOT cherishing him when you turn down a threesome. He is NOT CHERISHING his wife by asking. My cheating husband is boring with our sex life. I LOVE to change it up. I LOVE to be spontaneous and adventurous. He even told me I could have sex with other men five years ago. He was suffering ED. He was on a new medication. I DID NOT CHEATER even though I had his permission. I have been the wife dropping everything to take care of my kids and husband for fifteen years. He denies cheating on me. I have asked him about different signs for the last three years. We still have sex at least 3 times a week. He has not gave me attention except when he wanted sex. I think most of the mistresses honestly believe a cheating husbands lies. Maybe they really believe the wife is a bitch. I have tried to explain to my husband that I am the person in our marriage that has responsibility for everything in our house and marriage except making all the money. He still enjoys his hobbies. I am willing to change my bad behaviors because I know I am not perfect. Yes, I do fuss at him because all I have ever wanted was his time, affection, physical intimacy, emotional intimacy, and for us to have a spiritual intimacy with God. That being said, I believe the other woman thinks he is not having sex with his wife. That he is only married because the kids and he does not want to loose a chunk of his income. My husband has recently gave me an ultimatum that I stop having any kind of relationship with my male friend. I think he has been to busy to realize that I do trust my friend. I can count on him. We have NEVER been inappropriate in any way to each other. We are just friends. My husband and I used to talk about threesomes before we started trying to live a life God would want us to. I even had a lap dance because it was the closest I would come to being with a girl. One of his fantasies was for me to be with a girl. So please don’t judge the wife as thinking we have a golden twat. My husband has gained 130 pounds. All he does is when he is home is eat, sleep, and watch tv. We stopped going to church over a year ago. The last six months, I have had more reasons to suspect him of cheating. I told him if he wanted to watch port or saw a woman he wanted to be with to tell me. That that was how important honesty was to me. I could deal with the fact that men get bored looking at the same woman for years. He said okay. For me to do the same. Three months ago we talked about a threesome. It was me and another woman he knew that I suspected him of cheating with. He said he didn’t want to stick his dick in her. He has talked about wanting to have another man be with me. I said something about my friend. My husband threw a fit. He started accusing me of having sex with him. I have always been with our kids when he is around. My husband knows that. Then he started saying he could loose weight so he would be skinny and look like my friend. Of course I don’t want to have a threesome. Talking about it is as far as I would go. I struggle with if even talking about it is wrong in GOD’S eyes. My husband has decided in the last two weeks he wants to live for God. He said he only wanted me and him in the bedroom. That if we ever brought another man into the bedroom it would have to be someone he chose and was one of his friends. It is funny that he has not been jealous of me in years. He is telling me he wants only me. I hope and pray he admits his affair to me and can tell me the truth. I have already started taking steps to try to rebuild honesty. He is not even staying in our house. He is in our guest house. He has started trying to date me again. He has started giving me attention that I have been needing for so long. I don’t know if it is because he has had time to think about what really matters most to him, the affects of his actions on our entire family, or that he knows I am done with his bs. I already saw a lawyer. I have about different guys that would love to be with me because they know what kind of wife I am to him. I have got back down to the size I was when we started dating and I have been getting attention from men more than usual. No, I don’t have a big head. I believe I am nice and loyal. That I will help other people. I don’t see that I am beautiful. That’s something he hasn’t told me much until the last few months. I know my friend is close to my daughter. He has told her that I was perfect when her dad made comments about my body needing things done to it. My friend seemed to get angry with my husband for treating me like crap. At the same time he says he hopes everything works out for us.
Hahahahah
This makes me laugh. If he was the soul mate….why is he cheating??? Wake up. You talk as if the man is a saint for crying out loud.
Replying to Anaon
Bottom line is this – there are WHORES out there (you ought to know writer, you seem to be one) and then there are LADIES with morals, which WRITER you seem to have none. When a man flirts with me, I ALWAYS look and see if there’s a ring on his finger, and if there is, I engage NO MORE with him – WHY? Because I have morals and I wouldn’t want that done to me. In your stupid little pea brain whore of a mind, you’re probably thinking, “well I may as well fuck him, if I don’t he’ll just go on to the next whore” But you know what? THAT is the problem with our society – TOO MANY WHORES – you all need to have your whore asses kicked BY THE WIVES! You are by far the worst MOST PATHETIC excuse of a human being I’ve ever read STORIES from! Let me guess, you think you’re hot too, huh? Let me tell you something honey – PUSSY AIN’T GOT A FACE! And you’re being USED AND THROWN AWAY like tomorrows trash!
Ouch,, you called them a bad name. So! Seems to me that you are placing the responsibility on the other woman…. Is that how you cop out of everything else that goes wrong in your life? People who cheat, cheat! People who don’t cheat, don’t cheat. While you are calling other women these names, why not self-examine how someone like you can end up with someone who prefers the company of other women? Most women know that their man can roam. They see the signs prior to getting married and they still marry the man. So, some are whores and others are just dumb-dumbs. Trust me, the mistress is under no illusion. She knows what she is working with. As a wife, do you?
Women who choose to be mistresses aren’t emotionally or mentally healthy- and that is the truth. Regardless of any justification, “sexual urge” excuse, desire concept.. a healthy, strong woman with self esteem, morals/values, true confidence and options, compassion and empathy and most importantly integrity and the ability to differentiate between a healthy and unhealthy decision or risk doesn’t willingly choose a mistress role. I don’t believe in falling under some love spell as a justification. Some people just know right from wrong, healthy from unhealthy, integrity from corruption.
Willingly knowing that you are nothing more than an object, accepting and justifying that so much that you believe it’s okay isn’t psychologically normal or healthy.
I would never have the heart or want to go after someone’s significant other and I find nothing sexy about getting attention from someone who is in relationship. There is nothing sexier then meeting a strong, secure and available man who wants only you, and that’s the difference between a real woman and a mistress. A real woman knows real value and commitment VS the mistress has a deep rooted issue of needing to feel wanted and will accept the lowest form of that. I always ask if they the man has a girlfriend or wife and encourage people to take care of their relationships.
Both the cheater and mistress roles are unhealthy, based on unreality and toxic. The sad thing is that the mistress lures herself into believing that the wife could be envious of her role and attention but it’s nothing more than shock, disbelief and disgust and the ability to have integrity and see how unhealthy the situation is.
I truly feel bad for any girl who chooses to play the mistress role and hope that anyone that chooses this kind of toxic lifestyle does the deep inner work to live a deeply fulfilling life and gains the self worth to be whole.
Xo,
A girl who was cheated on
I second solbes comment.and one thing I learned about being the wife and later the other woman… I sat in more relationship denial as the wife than I ever have as the other woman. As the wife I saw my relationship as untouchable and when he strayed I saw him as my man and I did not want to face the music that perhaps I had married the wrong person and needed to end the relationship.
As the other woman the curtain has been lifted the blinders are off and I can actually say I feel sorry for the wives because so many are in denial about the true state of their marriage just as I was. They fight to stay with the cheater just like I did because a part of us does not want to be alone emotionally or financially…. And we certainly don’t want to ask our spouse if they still wish to be married to us because the chances are the answer is not what we want to hear or the answer is simply self-serving on the man’s part because of course he wants his booty on the side and his homemaker.
yay,finally someone with morals and a conscience. Its about friggen time !!!! If he has a ring on his hand…hands off..and if his ring has slipped off, you are the fool.
Thank you for saying that, my husband left me for a Filipino mistress and she took my money, my life . While my son found out a out them. Do you ever think about the children u are hurting.
Yes it is the husbands fault too but you take our money, life ect. Now the mistress is calling me and saying thank you for giving him to me. Do u think that’s fair. Go read the bible, and learn ur 10 commandments, thou shall not commit adultery. May you and the other mistresses burn in hell. I will pray for you all.
Thank you! Tell it like it is, only someone with no shame goes after someone in a relationship. Of course noone owns anyone but it’s about the respect for yourself too, you kind if are letting yourself be used by the guy, and if that’s fine with you, then that says alot about your character.
Some men are just cheaters. They always cheat. They have everything they need at home and more and theyre insatiable,believe me I know. I had a woman tell me I couldnt make my husband happy which is why he continues to cheat with this woman. However, she has no idea of our intimacy or all the things I have done for him. I have never been jealous or checked his phone or worried myself like you say,but he on the other hand treats me like a cheater and I am not. I have told him to leave but he begs and begs and then I see her call coming in after she says he calls her. She does not cease and obviously neither does he. I found pictures he took and I saw the detail indicating the date and time confirming they were taken from his phone. Still…he denies it as does she. I do not know what she gains from denying it. Additionally, I can tell looks are not important as she is bigger than me and ugly. She and he drink together and party which must be why he likes her, since they are both junkies. I am praying for this to end as I still love him but I want him out of my life. I have come to,thee realization that he is a liar and will never stop cheating. I realize she is obviously satisfied with my leftovers, but I however do not wish to share. I find it repulsively disgusting. I do believe that eventually we will be accountable for the hurt we impose on others. I ask for those of you that are believers to pray for me that they may be out of my life…as he continues to beg and turn things around saying I cheat and thats why I want to end it. He forces his presence on me and she doesnt care because she has no class. Thank you. I needed to vent.
Some men are just cheaters. They always cheat. They have everything they need at home and more and theyre insatiable,believe me I know. I had a woman tell me I couldnt make my husband happy which is why he continues to cheat with this woman. However, she has no idea of our intimacy or all the things I have done for him. I have never been jealous or checked his phone or worried myself like you say,but he on the other hand treats me like a cheater and I am not. I have told him to leave but he begs and begs and then I see her call coming in after she says he calls her. She does not cease and obviously neither does he. I found pictures he took and I saw the detail indicating the date and time confirming they were taken from his phone. Still…he denies it as does she. I do not know what she gains from denying it. Additionally, I can tell looks are not important as she is bigger than me and ugly. She and he drink together and party which must be why he likes her, since they are both junkies. I am praying for this
to the other woman….u are a bitch… u are his fantasy.. reality is so different..u need to get your own man
There is no such thing as an “own” man. You don’t own yours anymore than I own mine. People do what they please. My suggestion is KNOW the person that you are in relationship with. Don’t ignore the flags and quit worrying about what the other woman is doing, or trying to take away. She is irrelevant. After she is done with his penis, it is still very much attached to his body and it comes back home to you. The relevant matter at hand is where your significant person is at in his “own” life Are you talking?. Who cares if the mistress is pleasuring him. What difference will calling her names make? She may be a whore to you, but she is a damn worthy thing to him to breach your vows, isn’t she?
Hahahaaa!!! TRUTH!!!! (Solbe) To Clare, it takes TWO to tangle! Not one!
Lol not really if you think about it he just wants pussy from the mistress straight up like that ..maybe a little talk and sex and that’s it . You can’t ever trust a man who at the end of being with you goes home to BED with his wife. Lol mistresses can try arguing their way out of that one but all you are to HIM is pussy … Try being a mistress and not giving him any ass or anything sexually see how long he’ll stick around lol
I have never understood it and even looking back on when I was married with the thought process of “get your own man” like this is something you can get off the shelf at Walmart. It is actually freeing now that I’m no longer married to my serial cheater to understand that there is no such thing as your own man or my man… He is his own person he will make his own decisions independent of yours as the wife.
The most authority we actually have in our relationship is to control our self and to decide if we can live with the actions of our partner . And notice I said “our partner” not my man. If the actions of our partner do not meet our expectations we need to either renegotiate the boundaries of our relationship or I need to leave. This was the part I did not grasp as a wife because I was in denial because I had been with him more than 15 years and he was now an investment. A part of me felt he owed me for the years I had given up towards our relationship .
And when the investment did not pay off I blamed the other woman whom he married. I now realize that time together and materialism built over the years makes him no more my man or my possession th an you are his. And if our years together prove that we are not a good match calling the other woman and telling her hands off my man. …. Well we all know how effective that is. Lol.
clare – come on? the “other woman” are often times victims in the affairs because they are being led on by these cheating husbands. they have false promises made to them and they believe the cheating husband. who are you to call someone else a bitch? the man should be the one called the names. after all, he is the one that chose to have an affair and a relationship with another woman. he chose to lie. he chose to live another life with another woman while married. it could happen to anyone. honestly.
That’s called denial. It doesn’t just happen. No one forces you into a relationship. And if you knew he was married and lying to his wife then it’s your own stupidity and narcissim that makes you think he’s telling you the truth. Affairs are built on dishonesty so don’t blame the man when it all comes crashing down. You participated. You’re hardly a victim. And if you didn’t know, fine but once you knew he was married and you continued to see him then you’re just a fool for believing his so called promises. He made promises to his wife and didn’t keep them. So why would some side piece be so special? I have no sympathy for women who become mistresses. Learn how to say no. I have. Everytime a married man has hit on me, I’m repulsed not attracted because I’m attracted to integrity and honesty in men not sloppy seconds and deceit.
I am not sure why a mistress would actually care to have your sympathies? Every case is as different as every marriage. Why should anyone say “no” if they don’t want to. While you are attacking other women for choosing to accept the affections of who you are calling YOUR “OWN” MAN, I don’t see anyone really talking about what the hell he wants and why he may be cheating. We are talking about men here! Lol, you girls go argue about it and call each-other names, my married friend is knocking on my door right now, and we have a wonderful evening planned, after which, he will go home to you, and I will remain in my own perfect world, which by the way isn’t lonely, miserable or boring. Today,, I was curious about the topic, because a girlfriend of mine who also has a married love, told me that she was not a home wrecker, and it made me chuckle. I was curious about the female mind in this topic. The truth of the matter is, women are pathetic, possessive little girls, who actually drank the cool aide. Men cheat! If you don’t want to be cheated on, stay the hell out of relationships. There is nothing seriously special about you in comparison to other women. We are all unique, but anatomically practically the same. It does not matter what you make of the other woman, what you think, what you call her…. She is still the other woman, and there is nothing you can do about that. You know what the kicker is, she isn’t miserable. You are!
“Everytime a married man has hit on me, I’m repulsed not attracted because I’m attracted to integrity and honesty in men not sloppy seconds and deceit.” …… exactly.
Not to bash…… But honestly when you found out he had a wife….. Did you leave him or did that make you want to hold onto him even more…….
What is your opinion of women who coax a committed man into an affair?
the one i loved wanted me to be his mistress…..
i never knew what he meant by a “long lasting healthy relationaship!” when i met him, he was single, though younger to me but told me that he loved me and i believed. i believed everything that he said, did everything that he wanted me to, except for real sex and he then got married…and i was heart broken…after he got married, and i couldnt get over him, he told me out loud that he wanted sex- only! i still love him coz i really did , only now that iam distant, indifferent to him but my heart cries everytime i think of him and about how humuliating feelings he had for me in his heart…………
There are two things that stand out to me here, and although I appreciate your honesty and your advise is dead on about the woman having to let go of the hurt and allow the husband to move on, it is a question in my mind if you have already conditioned yourself to accept there being someone else, being as that you have been in relationships where there was a sharing involved. Also you didn’t state whether you have been married before or not, but it would be hard to answer how someone would react to something like cheating before they experience it. Most times these men do not come right out and say to their wives hey I’m having an affair. What you may be seeing is a woman seeking the truth or proof, when they sense a change in the man they married.
I would like to know if the other woman ever plans out a strategy to get the husband from the wife? Like would she try to get him to fall in love with her and passionately kiss him and more or less lead him on, and do everything but not have sex with him to get him turned on to her? Then when she thinks he wants her bad enough, she tells him she doesn’t date married men in hopes that he will actually leave his wife and get his chance to have sex with her. Kind of like the old saying, men want what they can’t have? Why would the other woman claim to just be friends with your husband, but yet every time she ends a phone conversation with him, she ends it with “Love you”, would this also be part of her strategy? Just curious.
Let me help you out Dolly, because so far, you are the most genuine and intelligent person of this here bunch. It does not always start out as an affair right away. Most women unless there is some evil vindictive streak in them are conscientious about the feelings and life of the wife. I have only dated 1 married man and it is a very new affair. I can tell you how it is evolving, because I am going through it right now. I walked into a bar for the very first time alone, because there was a band playing that I wanted to see. I stayed for a set and had a couple of drinks. When I was about to leave, I noticed the guitar player. I had been watching him for 45 minutes, but I only NOTICED him as I was about to leave. When the set was over, he happened to stand next to me to speak to his friend,(coincidence). I said, hello, and complimented him on his playing. He said thank you. I went home. The next day, I LIKED the band on facebook and I payed a compliment to the guitar player, but clearly stated that I also noticed his lovely wife at the show. He was so starved for a compliment. One month later after very benign chatting about music and networking musicians, he told me how he felt. I told him that I didn’t want to get involved with a married man. He said that he would be patient. 2 months later, we are seeing each other before or after work. His schedule is impossible, mine is heavy as well,, but emotions are evolving. Do I let him go, because he is “HERS” I can’t, not until I am ready, because I love holding him. I love listening to him; I love taking care of him; I love being with him; I love every thing about him. I know that he is married, but unlike his wife, I am not under any crazy notion that he is property to take away, win or manipulate. When I am with him, I am with him, when I am not, I live my own life. I would never ask him to leave his wife. As far as I am concerned they are family. But, I am his friend and after all is said and done, once the instigation of our libidos have left us in our elder years, what we are left with is friendship. Friendship is not something that you can demand. It isn’t something you own. It is free flowing, and this is the one thing that we do share. Do I think about her? yes. Do I aspire to hurt her? absolutely not. i protect the secrecy of our affair. She is hell bent on claiming him property. He is hell bent on proving his freedom. In this scenario, he has his entire cake and given how hard he works and the way that he cares for his family, he deserves the entire cake and the frosting.I don’t have demands. or expectations. I have my own life and I am quite happy. There is no drama here. Want a good strategy to getting him back from someone like me… Let him go and see where his heart takes him. He will go where he belongs. You cannot own another human being.
Oh Solbe…you are going to end up heartbroken and your “friendship” after having sex with him will never happen. What you see as a friendship, he sees it as sex, pure and simple. Check the statistics, they are all there for you in the net.
He will chose his wife, and you will be left aside dealing with your grief on your own. After you said to yourself and to us here from your high pedestal that you are a modern, “just friend ” type of girl, you will be as emotional as any wife or girlfriend who has been cheated on when he leaves you. Give it time, it will happen…..
I don’t know what to say over your advise, but, i feel sorry for you. I really hope you find a way to fill your life with some true happiness and stop being a second choice in every mans life. At some point you will have to slow down and take a look at your life and realize that that name “Mistress” that you have lived with will be the only one you will ever be good for. No man is worth fighting!
It’s not that easy. I used to work in home health care. I have seen women in their 40’s and 50’s with MS and other horrible and unusual diseases. I’ve also taken care of women ravaged by dementia in their sixties. All of their husbands have stuck by them but ALL of these husbands have “girlfriends” for their sexual needs. The few wives that have been in this exact same positions that have had the bravery to have a “boyfriend” to meet their sexual needs get treated like hell by their friends and family for needing a little cock now and again.
I also have had friends were the couple has decided to either be swingers, have open marriages or polyamory. The majority of the time it was the husband or boyfriends idea. The wife or girlfriend went along with it because she wanted to prove how open-minded she was and also figured out it was better to try and “control” these situations and say yes because if she said no than he would probably cheat anyways. Than she gets more partners more of the time than he does and he flips out and suddenly the relationship is on the rocks. Another thing I see a lot of is they become so called friends with the partners of their men and especially if the couple has children together she expects the lover to do all these household chores and babysitting for her and the hubby. Even when it’s not a live in arrangement. The other woman feels like she should help out even though the wifey than deliberately decides to constantly cut into her time with the man. Granted most secondary women in polyamory expect this and refuse to be in this role and avoid men with primaries with children-but open marriage and swinger women get blindsided. If everyone was open and honest than nobody would get used or hurt. In these situations I just shake my head because the man gets it all. He gets a wife and kids and a mistress. The wife that doesn’t know I do feel sorry for and do believe that most women will stay away from married men for ethical reasons. The wife that does know and goes along with it just to prove how open minded she is and to control the situation is not being honest with herself. It’s a rare woman that has children that can not feel threatened by another woman. If they agree and then also use the woman to do chores for them or baby-sit for them or control their time the secondary will eventually cause drama that can do the very harm she seeks to avoid. Unless she is bisexual otherwise she doesn’t truly give much of a fuck about the wife or kids. She is there for sex not to help the wife out. Unless the wife doesn’t like sex and is relieved somebody has got that part covered in an otherwise happy relationship. That’s rare.
I am in a creative community so this is why I see so much of these examples. Lots of creative like minded people are trying to explore different lifestyles. Most creative men do not want sexual monogamy and unlike most other men they don’t seem to have any issues in being honest about it. I have been cheated on and it really is heartbreaking and sucks. Once by a man that I was having sex with every single day and kinky sex to boot. The issue wasn’t lack of sex or lack of fun. The issue was simply he wanted variety pussy plain and simple. As a woman that is a very bitter pill for me to swallow. If I am in love and in a committed relationship with a good sex life I don’t want to share. Sadly, most men seem to want multiple women and they feel like they have two choices cheat and hide it or ask for a more honest lifestyle for themselves -meaning the very strong desire for multiple partners and mostly just for their sex needs. I ditched him for not talking to me about it and not practicing safe sex and exposing me to potential harm. Another long term relationship brought me to a fancy date and I thought we were going to take it to the next level but it was to ask my permission to have sex with other women. not because we had a bad or boring sex life but because he hated monogamy and wanted to be honest with me. I appreciated the honesty but immediately broke up with him on the spot. He took a risk. Next time he will probably just cheat on his next woman and pray he doesn’t get caught.
I have had girlfriends ask me to have threesomes with their boyfriends/husbands and lost friendships with them over saying no. I am your friend. I don’t want bisexual sex with you just to please your man. I am not sexually attracted to you or your man. I have always never said that but always been polite and said I think it would hurt the relationship we had as friends. It pisses me off because if I had sex with them behind the guys back it would be an issue or if I cheated with their man it would be an issue. Yet my not wanting to have threesome sex with them and their partner so their asshole man can have an experience most of the time just HE wants makes me feel used and not like a friend at all. Plus most of the time the friends that actually fall for this ploy and do it usually fuck up the friendship because their so called friend now feels threatened by them or doesn’t respect them. Basically, saying a lot of wives and girlfriends add to their own issues by trying to be too open minded to their men. They also send out a very strong message to their girlfriends that the only thing important to them in their lives is pleasing their man and this is women with or without children. It’s worth using your girlfriends to keep your man happy but treat her like shit if she actually is sexually curious or wants to help you out, It’s not always the other woman having low self-esteem.
Men seem to want multiple partners. Most of them. Mostly for sex. It seems to be hard-wired into them biologically speaking. They can be willing and able to step up to the plate and commit to a woman emotionally and long-term. Lots of them if they can’t or don’t want to commit to a woman will often still be good providers, and protectors and fathers. It’s a hard and bitter pill for most of us women to swallow. Yet most of them seem to want and crave and do what they can to get extra sex on the side. So the ethical dilemma do I cheat and hope I don’t get caught or do I risk being honest and get left? I think this is a really hard place for men to be. As a woman, I’m still the one that no matter how much I talk with a man honestly and do as much safer sex as possible its still fraught with risks for me. I’m the one more likely to get exposed to an STD than he is, I’m the one that is more than likely going to get labeled a whore or low self esteem if I sleep around myself or let him, I’m the one stuck with the kid if my birth control fails. I’m the one treated like crap if I choose to abort or adopt the unwanted pregnancy out. He can just choose to pay child support but I’m the one left with raising the kid. Single motherhood sucks. I’m not one but it sure looks like a crap deal to me. It’s really hard for me as a woman to not feel at times like accepting a mans sex drive or his strong need for multiple pussy doesn’t make him a worthless jackass. I can totally understand why men get labeled pigs. Yet, this doesn’t respect men or solve the issue of sex between the genders.
When I have opted for a trad relationship where I expect monogamy I have gotten cheated on or the few times not cheated on we split separate ways and the issue was always he didn’t want a monogamous relationship. I have had an open relationship once. We talked and we practiced safer sex, always. Even with both of us using condoms always. Guess what? Even with all that communication and safety-I still got a form of HPV that gave me warts and the beginning stages of cervical cancer. He left me over it. Talk about the ultimate betrayal. I’ve also been in a situation where I was married but my husband would not have sex with me for years. Yes, it was a medical condition and it was treatable but HE decided he didn’t have time to treat it and gave me permission to have somebody on the side and not bother him. I caved after 3 years of not taking him up on his offer when I ran into an old guy friend I always had a thing for. he had an open relationship with his wife and he knew about my past with the open relationship i had years ago and the HPV. The wife had also taken some of his friends as sex buddies which in these cases is very bad form. One day during playtime she comes home early. She catches us directly afterwards. They have an open marriage right? She feels threatened and in order to keep their marriage on even keel we stop our sexual activities, which is really good timing because not a month later my Husband decides finally to get his medical issue taken care of. He asks me if I had somebody else to please get rid of him. Yet a few months later I am suffering from bronchitis and on my period. He gets pissed at me that I can’t sexually service him on demand even with just a blowjob. truthfully, I think my friends wife is a selfish fucked up cunt, and so was my husband at the time. Married people can be assholes too both in their marriages and outside of it. Yes, I learned my lesson. The lesson being not monogamy or open which one is better or not. not who is the worst asshole-men or women. The lesson being friends of both genders will use you for their own needs if you let them. Wives and girlfriends are often just as guilty of having themselves cheated on. It’s not a simple case of men vs. women. Or single people vs. married people. Or the childless against those with children. Or that whore other woman against the totally innocent wife or girlfriend. A dishonest scared little wifey bitch especially with brat babies will use another woman to get out of having sex with her husband or boyfriend because she doesn’t want it anymore so she can not be alone and still have his protection and help and money and then when it doesn’t suit her its the other womans fault never her own dishonesty or her hubbies fault. Rolling my fucking eyes-Bitch please your marriage deserves trampling because you are just as much of a user bitch as your asshole hubby. Guess what sometimes the other woman just wants friendship and fun sex with your husband. She doesn’t want your marriage to wreck up or your kids to be hurt and if she knows its okay she might go for it only to find out that wifey just wanted a break from her sex duties and now that she has gotten her little breakey she is going to tantrum on her husband and especially the other woman and its usually because of her kids. she thinks her man will leave her and she will be stuck raising them on her own. I think its a valid fear and I don’t blame women for feeling that way. If you have been cheated on fine have your hissy fit with your hubby. In some cases i think its okay to alert the other woman if she has no clue. But in the cases where you have given permission and you decide to choose to not end things on a positive and respectful but yes firm note than having a hissy fit with the other woman is just as classless. You are the dumb bitch that has the communication problem and should have put your foot down and said no to your husband. You are as much of a user whore as your hubby and the other woman. A good portion of other women do care about marriages and children and have no intentions of taking your hubby they just want some sex or fun. That makes them low self esteem whores but you are the victim wife. Please. Life is not so black and white. Also I’m writing this because I have been cheated on and been in the hurt wife position, I’ve also tried two different open relationships. Neither monogamy nor open is all that it’s cracked up to be. Life isn’t that simple.
People in general will use you. You will at times use other people in some way or another at some point in your life. Try to not put yourself in the position of getting used as much as possible and try not to use other people as much as possible. People are human some mistakes are on accident or trail and error some are just very selfish. Realize people are basically good but they will be selfish and dishonest at times to get their needs met or allay their fears. Forgive when you can. Even when everyone is honest and communicating stuff comes up. Protect yourself. Stick up for yourself. Stick up for others. Know when to walk away. Just realize this these are lessons. Try to have as much self respect and dignity as possible. It’s too easy to judge and really i truly have been on both sides of the wall so i get both sides. Overall, take responsibility for yourself but as a wife don’t let yourself be trampled on and if you’ve ever been an other woman it isn’t a condition of allowing yourself to be gutted over a wife either just because she is a wife. Both need to own up. And no i’m not dismissing men. If a man is hurting you more than making your life and relationship worth it either leave his ass or figure out a way where you can still be happy.
You laugh at the wives? Seriously? The narcissim of cheaters and those they cheat with never ceases to amaze me. Laughing because someone is deceiving and lying to a person they promised to love and cherish is so devoid of empathy it’s scary. Oh, I know you’re not responsible for his marriage. You didn’t make the vows so it’s okay to participate in the deception. How awesome for you to be above morals and integrity. I wouldn’t be so smug. After all you’re getting a liar and a cheater to spend time with you. Hardly a prize worth bragging about. I’d be more concerned about STDs than his wife who you seem to think is somehow not worthy of decency and respect. Although, if had any yourself, you wouldn’t sleep with married men.
I agree Rosalie! There’s something wrong with people like that, they get a “high” off being with a married person, soon the high will drop when they are dumped and their ego will deflate. They put themselves at risk of stds and retaliation by the scorned significant other.
Well said..
I agree with michelle m. My x girlfriend is after my husband that’s why she is x’d she works nights and can call him in the day while I’m at work. She has been told along with husband to stop. Not happening so he’s on his way out and down the road,shell get what she deserves..skanky b
The problem I have with cheats is that they always seen to blame their spouse!It does not make sense to tell someone that your spouse neglects you,yet you are out treating someone else!Shouldnt you be treating your spouse?Ad for marrying young,well both parties marry young so why does only one cheat?You say it’s up to the man to “tell” you it’s over but he’s a liar so he’s probably telling his wife you are nuts,you won’t leave him alone and he’s tried to tell you to leave him alone but he won’t.And like you,the wife believes him,afterall I’m sure you believed the lies about their relationship being dead etc.Laughing at a wife ringing you doesn’t make you a winner,by all means a marriage is not about two people but rather two lives joined together!Lives that are built over the years!There is no way in hell someone who has invested just as much into a relationship will allow a third party to benefit in any way,shape or form from their hard work.Instead of waiting for the man to tell you it’s over,he should tell his wife,so that she can get on with her life and gain control over it!No I am not some bitter wife!Yes my husband cheated!No he did not get a second chance!Was it worth losing the relationship over an apparent silly mistake…yes!Because as far as I’m concerned I did everything I was meant to do and he didnt!He was so selfish that he only thought about himself and what he thought was missing!He thought he’d tell someone else rather than me.Needless to say the pathetic begging began when he was serve with papers!The mistress is no longer in the picture but I don’t want him,he has lost all the qualities I once thought and respected (respectful,honest,fair,kind and faithful).All those qualities were given to someone else so that they could enjoy a stress free relationship whilst I got all the boring stuff.I don’t blame the mistress,if that’s the type of man who catches her eye i won’t judge her,I don’t know her and I obviously didnt know him either and there’s no way I’m spending the rest if my life with someone who I don’t know.
I JUST CAUGHT MY MAN, AND HE WAS SEEING HER FOR A MONTH OR SO AND LYING, THEN WHEN I CAUGHT HIM, HE SAID WE NEEDED TIME OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP TO WORK ON EACH OTHER, AND HE STILL LOVED ME, WE HAD BOTH DONE WRONG THINGS TO HURT EACH OTHER, BUT AS WE ARE TAKING THIS BREAK, SHE IS STILL THERE ,AND HE SAYS HE DOESN’T WANT TO HURT HER FEELINGS CAUSE SHE WAS THERE WHEN I WASN’T, BUT I DON’T KNOW HOW WE’D WORK ON IT IF HE STILL ALLOWS HER TO BE THERE…I’M HURTING BAD AND WANT HIM BACK, BUT I DON’T THINK HE’S COMING BACK…WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I wish there was a “like” button for some of these comments! C.X. Love, you are so delusional! You are going to die an old ALONE mistress. No man wants a 60 year old Mistress, but you know what they do want…a faithful wife that is there to grow old with. I admit, some men and some relationships are not worth fighting for, especially when both people are not willing to work on the relationship. You said most people hit this blog by searching “how to get ride of a mistress”, well, in my case, that is not how I came across your blog. I was actually searching “should I take away my husband’s cell phone after caught sexting?” So, you see, my husband didn’t actually have an affair, but had done what people are now calling “technocheating”. I realize that there was something lacking in our marriage and relationship, and we love each other to move on and try to get past it, and hopefully come out stronger in the end. See, here’s the thing, if you screwed my husband, knowing that he was married….that makes you a WHORE. You are probably on that Ashley Madison site too TRYING to get married men to have an affair with you. You have bigger issues than any of these cheating men do. They do it for the sex, affection, etc. Who knows why you “mistresses” do it? You have deeper issues, perhaps “daddy issues” or abandonment issues, or maybe your mom was just a whore, so you’re following in her footsteps! OR, is it because you’re hoping that maybe 1 out of the 20 men you are sleeping with will actually leave their wives???? Again, delusional… although you may get lucky one day. One of these wives will get smart and leave her husband….then he’s all yours, and when he gets bored with you in a few years, he will move on to the next!
P.S. If I didn’t say this already. You are going to die a lonely old mistress with nobody holding your hand as you take your last breaths of life! You are pathetic!
Lastly, DO NOT PRETEND to know how a marriage works just because you screw the married men! You have no idea how much work a marriage is! This is just like a woman who has never had any children trying to give parenting advice. Give me a fucking break! Get a real damn life!
U r a fool with no selfworth. A man can push and pull u when ever he is ready. The husband is only using you for what he isnt getting at home. He doesnt love u nor want u just using u. And why would u be with a man that cheats on his wife. And what does that say about yourself. He will never b with u because u have no morals and no self respect. Yes i agree there are problems in the marriage and the husband coping skills is inappropriate and so is your. U and the husband both have issues. I see nothing wrong with the wife demanding her husband to stop the affair. Thats the frist step in getting things back on track. I also can understand the pain and hurt u both
Must have caused her. The betrayal of her husband. Just remember what type of man you are dealing with and what gos around comes around
It’s homewrecking whores like you that are ruining families & make the world horrible! Enjoy your eternal life with Satan…I bet he has fun with sluts like yoyrself
I have to say in some ways I totally understand what she means. Some men stray because they are cheaters others do Ecuador we as wives are not showing them the love the need. I’m learning this the hard way I have been cheated on twice and now my husband has left me and has a girlfriend. Instead of acting like a crazy bitch though I got my shit together.
Yes it hurts but I also no I pushed him to it the second time around by not showing him the love and attention he needs. So to call anyone a names or anything like that is immature. I don’t have anything against this girl but I don’t have sympathy either. You won’t find me stalking her or calling her names though.
Here is my advice to you girls that feel like your man is yours. One he is his own person like she has stated several times. Two he has needs just the same as you! It isn’t fair to ask him to take out the trash or go to the mall and then say no when he asks for sex. Three sex is not a holding card. Four get your head on straight don’t act crazy and treat him with respect.
I’m learning instead if being horribly hurt and it is working. I’m sweet to him and kind. We joke and text each other every day… What started out as hopeless is budding into a wonderful friendship with my husband. Yes we are physically involved and yes he still has his gf, but he sees me more then her and has me sleep over. So despit everything I see us getting past this very easily.
My thing is you need to learn that your husband isn’t someone to walk on and treat badly because he doesn’t take out the trash one night. You are not so superior to him just because you are a women. Work on your relationship and have fun with yor husband because if you don’t they will stray.
Do not judge so that you will not be judged, For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Matthew 7:1-2
Ohhh, we’re passing judgement!! Be careful to put your mouth on others a pass judgement unless you are “Jesus” himself, meaning you’re perfect. You may just end up being that other woman one day. Don’t speak too soon!
I don’t know how I ended up here, but I’m so glad I did because now I can say: Wtf is this?! Who ever wrote this has serious issues, not just self esteem issues, but very serious moral issues.
“The other woman” as you endearingly call yourself, is nothing but a bottom feeder. Like in a fish tank, you swim around and collect all the scraps that the good fish don’t want. A man that is feeling half himself needs half a woman to fix him, because he is to ashamed to show his wife that he isn’t strong enough to do it on his own. So, he finds some one with no standards, such as “the other woman”, uses her to make himself whole again, all the while praying that his wife never finds out that he isn’t exactly what she thought.
The problem that some men run into is hitting that part of mating where the chemicals in your brain take over your use of good judgement. It’s that “first love” feeling that everyone gets! It’s the devil. At the same time though its natural.
The point is- at the end of the day, month, or however long, once the man gets sick of his bottom feeder (the other woman) he always goes back to his wife. And guess what he says about the other woman – “wtf was I thinking?!?”
I’m glad I’m not a free hooker (the other woman).
Good article because it gives insight into the entire dynamic of an affair.
No,asking the other woman does no good.You can’t expect a selfish person to relate to the pain they are causing another because they could care less.
I’m almost wondering if the author isn’t the woman my husband became involved with ,it’s so
spot on.She too goes from one man to another like a tossed ball.Sry,C.X. but you put it out there:)Honestly,is this really fulfilling for you?To each their own….
I feel sorry for the cheated wife because it is soul destroying.
I feel sorry for the other woman who is selling herself short for affairs that eventually end instead of having a real relationship.And can be soul destroying in it’s own way.C.X.I don’t hate you.I feel sorry for you though.
If my husband ever cheats me again?
Instead of asking the other woman to leave him alone?
I’m calling the other woman up and saying:Come get him!You can have him;)Enjoy!
Then go on with my life free of it all.
There will be no…oh, let me fullfill your needs better.
I’ll worry about my own,let her worry about yours.
Until the novelty wears off.
I once dated a married man. At that time, I was 24years old, life was good, i had no worries. The guy fell in love with me so bad that he literally cried when I called it off because I had met a single guy I was ready to date. To cut the story short, I am presently married, in my 30s and my husband is having an affair. It is obvious he is in love with her. He knows I am aware of the relationship and he apologised but I know he is still seeing her secretly. He has refused counselling, he thinks that is silly. I have made up my mind to leave and allow him explore his fantasies otherwise my efforts to win him back would be like trying to hold down a barking dog, thats just silly cos u could get hurt in the process. One thing I believe is that no one can be forced to love, it is a free will. Love isn’t a competition, it isnt a fight. I think it’s completely silly to fight for love. If he is willing to jeopardise our marriage for his affair, then he is solely responsible for the consequences. I would never call the other woman or inquire about her. She is the least of my worries. I wouldnt lose sleep worrying about her. i love my husband to bits but as a woman you have to be emotionally stong and stick to your terms. There is a thin line between determination and desperation.
Coming from the perspective of being the other woman once upon a time, I have gathered that cheating is sweetest when it is forbidden and hidden and trust me it will take a strong willed and God fearing man to end that kind of relationship. Of all the relationships I had, the sweetest was with this married man cos it was hidden. It added to the excitement. Did I regret it? YES! With every breath I take I regret looking his direction how much more dating him. Now I know what his wife must have felt. It’s painful, emotionally and mentally exhausting.
Dating a married man is compeletely myopic. if a man would leave his wife for you or cheat with you, trust me it’s only a matter of time for a sexier, smarter and heartless version of you to come around and he will cheat on you just like he did with his wife. You aren’t made of gold neither did you drop from the sky so what makes you so special that he won’t be tempted to look away? Men are natural cheats so the fact that he is doing it with you doesn’t make you any better than his wife or mean that she is a bore and trust me, as the other woman, majority of what he says about his marriage is fabricated. A married man would say anything to keep his mistress smiling. Who wouldn’t?! I’m a strong believer of “what goes around comes around”. It may not come directly to you, it may happen to your loved one. However, it comes around to remind you of your past. Someone said this “what goes around comes around” quote to me while i was seeing this married man. I laughed so hard cos i thought it was silly. Well now i know better. You married men daters might think it is cool now, it’s only a matter of time for it to come around so hard you won’t know what hit you so the wives of these married man had better get some popcorn ready to watch. I’m sure the wife of the guy I dated is giggling with her popcorn now!
Women willing to date married men used to be stoned….A mistress totally wrecked my life..and my childrens life…We divorced..but he also divorced his kids…The Bimbo would set up my kids to fail…saying that they were disrespectful to her..which was a lie…She would flirt with other men in front of my 11 year old daughter…..hhhmm..seems to me..she didnt want those kids around their father…she did her best to make the kids hate her..then cryied victim to my ex hubby…he believed everything SHE SAID…WAS HER WORD TRUSTWORTHY?? HELL NO!!
She had had sex with her brother in law….sex with her husbands best friend and made a baby with him….Shes a total whore..but so was my husband I had found out later..
We were owners of a big successful company…WITH HIS NAME OVER THE DOOR…ALL THE ROACH MISTRESS’S CAME OUT OF THE WOOD WORK..and I guess he enjoyed the attention..although none of it was based on his personality…only his money…which he was proud to show everyone..
SORRY MISTRESS…if girls like you didnt exist..and wouldnt date our men…then our marriages would be easier to maintain..Your a cancer…and at one time..in a more sane era of time…the cancer was stoned…and eradicated from the society..to preserve the families…
Its barbaric to do anything that helps to perpetuate the GOLDDIGGER MISTRESS SYSTEM..ITS BAD FOR ALL SOCIETIES FOR MARRIAGES TO BREAWK UP.
YOU IDIOT…HE WAS NOT PERFECT..AND YOU IDIOTS TELL THE CHEATING MAN..WHAT A WONDERFUL GUY HE IS……gggeeessshhh…Hes a cheat..a liar..and you fools call him wonderful?
You do us no favors by pitting our men against us…My hubbys bitchtress even got him to call me and his children..PARASITES…WOW..WAS THAT EVER A SHOCKER..So..then what is she ??? She doesn’t even belong among our family…Shes a roach..
She made all kinds of excuses to come to my house when I was gone…ONE TIME..SHE LEFT HER CLOTHS IN MY DIRTY LAUNDRY HAMPER.. of course I found them..SHE WAS TRYING TO DESTROY MY MARRIAGE..He being the ego maniac he was…enjoyed the attention.
It does not matter about his personality…what matters..WOMEN CONTROL THE MORALITY OF THE LAND…Many men are just whores for attention…but if the women are moral…there are no mistress’s…
MY KIDS HAVE GREATLY SUFFERED FROM THE DOINGS OF THIS UNSCRUPULOUS DEVIOUS MANIPULATING BITCHTRESS..
Im planning to start a movement against mistress’s..where instead of having a red A on their foreheads like it used to be in more civilized societies that protected the family..I will have a site where wives like myself..can tell our story..and post the photo of their husbands BITCHTRESS..IN PUBLIC…PUBLIC HUMILIATION..LIKE IT USED TO BE… Perhaps that will make these immoral hags think twice about dating another womans husband…and destroying him and his family.
You see you fool..you Bitchtress’s do that man no favor.
My ex IS MISERABLE…Shes looting him for every dollar she can get…Hes always angry and depressed…Her kids think hes a friggen human ATM MACHINE..He is not happy…I was a good wife…and met him when he was poor….and I married him..when he was poor..
Who loves a man more…the wife who married him when he was poor…and she bear his children.
Or the Bitchtress that only pursued him because his name was on the door of a large company?
See..you bitches do that man no favor….She destroyed my husbands life…and his family as well..as her own family…Shes a whore…before my ex..she would wrap her crotch..her lips around any mans (^%& that would have her…My ex wont believe anything Ive told him
MY SOURCES WERE HER EX HUSBAND IN REGARDS TO HER HUMPING HIS BROTHER ..AND MAKING A BABY WITH HIS BEST FRIEND….
MY SOURCES…WERE THE MANY MEN WHO WORKED FOR THE SCHOOL DISTRICT..WIHT THE COCAINE DEALER SHE WAS HUMPING…A HAIRY GREASY MAN…SHE SCREWED JUST FOR COCAINE..
MY EX SEES HER PURE AS THE DRIVEN SNOW…SHE LIES TO HIM…SHES VERY GOOD AT LYING..HE WONT BELIEVE ME IN THE BEGINNING..SHE TOLD HIM I WAS JUST TRYING TO BREAK THEM UP.
GEE..IT COULDNT BE THAT I WAS TRYING TO PROTECT MY DELUDED BEST FRIEND.L.AND THE THOUGHT OF MY KIDS BEING WITH THAT WHORE…WAS MORE THAN I COULD STAND…AS THE MEN WHO HAD GONE OVER THERE IN GROUPS…TOLD ME SHE ALLOWED THINGS TO GO ON IN FRONT OF HER KIDS..NON KID SHOULD HAVE TO SEE..
You should be stoned..your a pariah in any decent society…and the less of your types there are…the better off mankind would be..YOU SUCK…
THE FAMILY IS THE STRENGTH OF ANY NATION…YOU ARE DESTROYING YOUR OWN HOUSE BY DATING MARRIED MEN…there is nothing noble about you..You do no one any damned favor by dating our men..
He’s not your man! if he were your man you would be able to control him. he’s his own person and will do what he wants independent of your thoughts and opinions he’s obviously proving that.
You need to decide if you can live with his lifestyle choices. You only have a couple of options. You can stick your head in the sand and if he’s a good provider enjoy the nice house great cars and appear to be the happy family in public. You can join him and you can each cheat on each other . Or you can divorce him.
And noticed that none of those choices deal with the other woman because it’s not about the other woman it’s about you and your spouse really being honest as to whether or not you still want to be together.. And this is coming from a woman who was the wife and later became the other woman. So I know your position all too well. He is not your man is a free and independent human being and he may find someone else that is a better match for him at the age he is now at. That’s why my ex married his affair partner.
I can either learn from it or I can stick my head in the sand and say she took my man he wasn’t mine. So hands off your man …. unless he’s a stuffed doll??? He will spend time with the person he wants to spend time with. You decide if you can live with it.
Oh yes..I forgot to mention this…My husbands BITCHTRESS…calls me several years later..and wants me to help her with her marriage…geeessshhhhhhhhh She was having trouble with him…
I said to her…”I told you when you were dating my husband..that he was a very confused man as was just about to get get help…when you came along..and told him how wonderful he was…Of course he wanted to hear that…instead of his wife telling him he needed to get some help…”
My husband was emotionally abused by his dad…He has issues…he would ask my why I would love him…I told him..I just do…I would not divorce my son..or daughter..why would I divorce you?
He was a good man in many ways..but he did have a bad side to him…He was an emotional abuser..but NEVER a psychical abuser..He always took good care of us..but he did have issues
but those issues were none of her business..If she didnt come along..and she pursued my husband FOR ONE YEAR…before she got her wish….if she didnt come along..he would have seeked help..He was about to crack..and couldn’t understand why he was the way he was..
I told her I will not comply..as I will respect her marriage..more than she respected mine..
shes insanely jealous of me…He always stares at me when were in the same place…She sees this and will jump in between us so he cant see me..its funny.
I think that is why she sabbatoged my children..She didnt like him to have a relationshiop with them..cause then he would have reason to see me too..
Obviously..my ex is a weak and balless man..She orders him around like a slave…Men hate divorce..and Im sure he does not wish to build a new life..and if divorced…she will make around 5,000 a mo off of him..in alimony…
He inherited a very large amount of money whilst we were married..I never once..tried to get one dollar of that money..EVER…she is trying to get every dollar out of that account she can…so she can get half…
In time..she will go…Hes not that much fun these days..and has now begun to run the company into the ground…
He always tells us hes dying…Im sure hes lied to her..and told her she would inherit the company…LMAO LMAO..LMAO…BUT THE JOKE IS ON HER…SHE WILL INHERIT NOTHING OF THAT COMPANY…THE FAMILY HAS IT TIED UP IN SUCH A WAY..NO SPOUSE INHERITS ANYTHING OF THE COMPANY…
LMAO..BY TELLING HER HES DYING..SHE STAYS..TO INHERIT SOMETHING THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN..TOOO FRIGGEN FUNNY BIMBO CHICK..
Im better than her..she knows it…He knows it too..;.Im sure hes very sad at what hes done to his life..With me..life was a breeze..and a woman who has a mans children is much more tolerant of him..than these roach bitches..
One time..she told her gal pal that she could make him do anything she wanted…so while the woman..and the man (who told me about this) watched her as instructed….she trotted my ex over to a booth..and argued with him until she got her $400 belt…then trots back to the couple..and says..See..i can make him do anything I want..and I dont even like this belt.
See the hell my husband made for himself
THE BIBLE SAYS. “HONEY POURS FROM THE LIPS OF THE MISTRESS…FLATTERING AND LIES…..AND THAT THE PATH OF THE ADULTERESS..IS CRUEL AND MEAN..AND LEADS TO HELL…
i CAN SAY WITH CONFIDENCE. THAT MY EX IS LIVING IN HELL. WITH HIS BITCHTRESS…
NO ONE LIKES HER..NO ONE HANGS OUT WITH THEM..
You sound bitter and mentally unstable. I think you should get counseling. You are clearly emotionally damaged so much that it consumes you. You blame everything on the mistress as if she forced his penis down her throat. Maybe I missed the memo that stated”people are created to be with only one person for the rest of their lives on Earth”. Go get some counseling please
WOMEN LIKE THIS…NEED TO BE PUBLICLY HUMILIATED FOR THE HARM THEY HAVE DONE TO INNOCENT WOMEN AND CHILDREN….
MANY MEN ARE SUFFERING JUST THE SAME AS WOMAN THESE DAYS ..DUE TO MAN WHORES WHO DATE THEIR WIVES..
AMERICAN MEDIA IS SOAKED WITH SEXUALITY…ON PURPOSE TO CREATE THESE KINDS OF PEOPLE WHO FUNCTION LIKE AN ANIMAL ON THEIR BASE INSTINCTS..
IN THINK IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE AMERICAN FAMILY….IT S TIME TO FIGHT BACK..AND MAKE IT NOT SO FUN TO BE MAN WHORES..AND BITCHTRESS’S BY MAKING SHOWING THEIR FACES IN PUBLIC..WHAT THEY SEEK TO DO AGAINST OUR FAMILIES IN SECRET.
Please no hateful comments even if you think I sound crazy. I feel crazy but I’m really not. He has lied about things in the past or I ‘d just trust him. I’m working on the trust but i’m second guessing myself here and I need some unbiased advice.
I found this page because I suspect that my husband cheated on a business trip with a girl he told he still dreamt about after we were already engaged. I know this because he left his fb messages open one day and I saw the discussion. He and she were friends when he was stationed in El Paso and from what I can gather, she told him that she liked him back when. I know he still communicates with her via texting and probably phone calls when he’s not with me. He never makes calls on his phone except for work around me. Anyway this girl is a friend of a girl he was dating at the time he lived in El Paso, so if she’s willing to betray her friend, then I feel she’s dangerous and just doesn’t give a crap about anyone’s feelings. Anyway, he had to go there for business and lo and behold he reached out to her to say that he needed to talk to her. Her reply was something along the lines of “”i’m at work now, so I can’t talk I’ll text you when I can talk. Again, I wasn’t “”snooping”‘ per se but noticed the fb messenger thing light up his ipad and it was her so I had to look because I had a feeling he’d contact her or some other girl from there. So instead of driving myself crazy and thinking the worst. I called him and asked him what he need to talk to her about. He knows she’s a red flag for me. He gave me some story about having to ask her if a business bank account was stll opened there (she was the secretary for the non profit compay he had someone else had) Not sure I really believe it or not. he hasn’t lived there in over 3 years so it struck me funny that he would ask her about that. I didn’t buy it but had no other proof to go on so…
He left for the trip and we were skyping one day, and his phone said the got a text from “laura” . he has a program that says stuff out loud. So I said, Oh Laura really? Tell her I said hi… immediately he said, Oh! Not that laura another laura”” about something else regarding a press release. I asked him if he and laura where getting together for drinks or dinner since he’d be there and he said, oh.. I was going to ask you if it was okay, but our plans fell though and since the air conditoning in the room is so nice, so I”m stayiing in.
Sorry this is long.. so again, I have suspicions but no proof. Before he left, he had a picture of me as the screensaver on his GalaxyII and when he returned, it was changed to something else and he wasn’t wearing his ring.
I’m considering friending her on fb just to see what happens. My excuse was going to be. well, since you are one of alyns friends, I thought next time we are in El paso, we could get together all of us for dinner. I will be able to judge by his reaction and her reaction to it if there’s anything to be worried about. What do you all think. .
I don’t think your plan is a good one. If you think he is having an affair, ask him. If he denies it and you still think he’s having an affair do what you can to find out and if he is get rid of him. Once you think he’s having an affair, I don’t think going through things like phone bills, bank statements etc. is snooping. You are just looking for evidence to enable you to get rid of him if he is having an affair. Most women who believe their husbands are cheating are usually right.
I was wondering what your outcome was, it’s been 3 years, but I just came across this. Anyone who believes they’re being cheated on must be very patient if they’re trying to catch their loved one. Of course there’s the 6th sense, private or short convos, change of plans, meetings or change of schedules. Especially when you suspect and ask about changes, they will stutter, look the other way, make up nonsense stories. Once you get closer to the truth, it makes you angry, but you must contain yourself until you have undeniable evidence. And most of the times, if you choose to stay, there’s a chance it will happen again, even if you’ve stated your loved one can remain with the other person. They just become aware of where they were careless and hide it better the next go round. Only sorry they hot cought. Do I speak from experience? Yes, I did EVERYTHING for him cooked, cleaned, took care of our child, his friends & family were very close to me. His friends would tell him he had a trophy wife, he would brag about me. He would make comments here and there to his friends about him not having complaints about our intimacy. Even when I was pregnant, but with our 2nd child, when I was 4 months pregnant he cheated, I would ask why he was distant from being intimate with me and gave me the excuse that (he didn’t want to hurt the baby) I would’ve been close in perhaps catching them together, but I became so angry that I confronted him by showing him 2 pictures she had emailed him, of course prior to the pictures he was staying out late, the sign of him kissing my forehead when he came home late also was a sign (guilt) I later confronted both of them and she denied having anything to do with him, he made up a thing saying that the pictures weren’t sent for him, but for another mutual friend and that he didn’t know what they had going on but didn’t want to get in the middle of it! Well, the mutual friend was dating this girls sister (so they will tell you the stupidest stories). My husband broke the guy rule (don’t mess with a girl that’s with your friend) 8 years have passed, the girl recently had a child with the guy. And I still can’t get over it since her guy is one of my brotherinlaws best friends so I’m soooo unlucky to see her damn face once in a blue moon. The fact is that through the years I found out my husband is a womanizer, I cought him flirting with a friend of his who was going through a divorce to the point he in tented to take her to a casino, by thenselves (she rejected the proposal) because she knows me, I have their conversations and he doesn’t know I have them. I also found out he was flirting with 2 other females one of these 2 know me. But these females went to high school with him, the fact that I don’t have FB doesn’t mean I can’t find out information. If you suspect something 99% of the time there is something going on, I don’t blame the girls with the flirting, the one I do have huge resentment for is the one who just had a baby bcs my husband did a 360 on me when he had his fun with her. Her boyfriend brought her by My house, we met, she complimented our house, our family, how pretty I was. Only for her to do what she did, yes it was mutual of course but by her sending him those pictures, she definitely knew what she was doing. At that time I told them if they had something going it was fine and I would let them be, they both denied it, yet he kept her phone number and changed it to a guys name (To a guys name) I had memorized her phone number, but guys will change the name to a guys name, you’ll know though, especially when you don’t know any of his friends with that name. Lots of times is not you, a guy one time told me A man is only as good as its options. This came from a man! So, there you have it. I’ve heard It takes 2 to tango, 2 wrongs don’t make it even, and better be with the bad for you know what to expect then go with the unexpected. I say, do what you feel is right for you, If you can tolerate what’s going on in your life all you can do is try, weight the happy and unhappy moments, if you find yourself more unhappy than happy. Then you can do bad all by yourself, and also make yourself happy all by yourself climax EVERY single time you want, not once he’s done and your fun it’s over. ;•)
I’m not sure how to respond to this other than I hate what my husband has done to our family, especially when it was done to him in his first marriage but for the homewrecking whore who knew he was married AND I was pregnant to continue seeing him disgusts me. For sone reason I blame her more than him. We had our problems sure, but I feel ad a 28 year ok’d she fed off of his 46 year old problems & midlife crisis. He still talks to her o know but I k ow where he & my 15 month old wakes up & goes to bed every night. So don’t I win?
I wouldnt trust someone again who cheat because cheating is cheating, would you trust someone who cheat in a game of cards? If your partner honest and up front with you he wouldn’t carry on having a mistress behind your back, he would tell you and either you are ok with it and you stay together or you are not and you break up. Thats it.
Who would trust a man or woman who cheats? Would you trust someone who cheated in a game of cards? No… Thats why its called cheating. If partner wants to take a mistress or mister then they should be open about it then its not cheating and its respecting your husband/wifes feelings. And if they are ok with it great and if not then it gives person the chance to move on themselves or at least safe enough in the relation to trust partner knowing they will be up front with you.
So the writer does not think she is making any mistakes? Ok. It seems like the mistress is trying justify and say that cheating is the husband and wife’s fault only. When you are seeing the married guy, you are actually adding to the problems.
Am most grateful to a spelll lady who has given me a new outlook with my relationship. I have been experiencing difficulty in my relationhip for about 6months now, but just last week here i heard about this spell lady who i contacted online at templeoflove1 AT yahoo com, she has been wonderful and kind with all her honest spell. Priestess Ifaa, My lover has totally.YOU should call her and see for yourself, thank you so much for being there for me, and clearing the air for be the most wonderful and dream man i ever want to be with now, he has totally changed for the best ever since the spell lady did cast the spell for me to make my lover stop cheating and misbehaving. I would urge you never to give up on the one you love for there are some real spell people who can restore your relationship, the email to meet this lady just as i did is templeoflove1 AT yahoo com, i must confess that she is incredibly powerful.
I think you already know the answer…..it’s called intuition. Even though you have no hard proof you KNOW something is going on or at the very least headed in that direction. Confront it head on openly with him do not put up with anyting less than no more communicatin with “Laura”
Hi, im a 12 weeks pregnant lady and not marry yet. recently I’m stuck, confuse, lost confidence with my fiancé which we plan to get marry on November.. I just found out he has a 1 year old daugther with another lady in Philippine.. I have confront with him and he told me what she want is just money and he treats his daugther as adoption only. He lie to me that he is sending 19,000.00 peso every month.. However, receipt in emails show he send every 2 weeks 19,000.00 peso.. And they still communicate till now thought email. My fiancé knows I’m been checking his phone every time but he just act do not know.. The last conversation was yesterday.. As I check throught his Facebook and leave a message to the lady by adding him back to his friend list and I blocked this lady after that. The lady straight away email my fiancé is he the one who message her and ask her to add him back. My fiancé say no and he ask the lady ignore it and only communicate in this email address. And my fiancé told the lady I’m always checking his phone. That’s really pissed me off and shocked me.. I do not sure if my fiancé gonna stop this relationship with the lady as they are not register marry, but the daughter is under my fiancé surname..
I have check through all his emails and found out when we started our relationship 10 months ago, he is still showing his care and love to the lady and daugther in Philippine when we have our lil sweet honey moon trip to China..
I have no idea should I continue this relationship because of my baby and just don’t bother about the lady… Or I should force him to cut it off (but I know he is a good father which will take care of his daugther in Philippine and as well the lady)
Few days ago we went to look around our wedding rings… And he place a booking fee for my new car…. ( is this what he want to make me feel better and show me he love me more than anything? )
Nobody knows I’m pregnant yet.. As he is going to inform my parents this few days that he is going to marry me.. I feel worry.. Doubt..as I am not sure am I going to marry a guy who cheating me and have another family out there without anyone know just me… I do not sure if I can overcome it and forgive him as he told me he gonna money support his daughter until 21 years old.. Which now still have 20 years to go.. And definitely the lady will enjoy his money and care as well…
God you are a slut. I hope one day you have kids and eat every last word you wrote here
Get a private detective and do it now . My husband carried on an affair with. Someone he worked
With for thirteen years behind my back . He lied like a pro and as a result no longer knows the difference between reality and lies he made up . He has destroyed a 33 year marriage and his children, as well as mentally abused me . So fight back gather your evidence . The next business trip he schedules show up as a surprise ,
Just remember these woman who make the decision to sleep with our husbands , have no moral. Thermometer and are selfish narcissist who only worry about themselves . My husbands trash bag goes to an episcopal church every Sunday gives the impression to the community and her employer she is pure as the driven snow . Meanwhile she screwed around on my husband and has lied during these thirteen years . One does not have an affair without a long trail of lies . The hysterical part for me. Is she thinks he’s honest and he thinks she’s honest. And neither tells the truth . She has no idea the amount of lies he has told her and that he was still kissing me and being with me and told me he was coming home . She thinks I’m the liar ! I don’t lie and did not pursue and sleep with a married man . Please get one step ahead of your husband . If your instincts. Are telling you something. Go with it. Deb
My pathological husband has turned me into a complete psycho. After finding out about the affair, I have gone through all the regular deep feelings every spouse feels when they find out there is an affair. After he insisted that it was over (of course he did all the right steps to prove it to me), he changed his cell phone #, sent her an e-mail confirming it was over, etc. I found out 2 months later that it never did end. He insists that he is doing it just for her money – which she has given him a lot – and has a lot! (Basically he is therefore her prostitute in my mind). After realizing that he really can never be trusted no matter how much he insists it is over, I have decided to play along – I am stuck in the marriage at this time anyways as I have no money to get away presently. My present request with him however is that he lets me see the e-mails and the contact info. She lives overseas and he has not returned to be with her physically since I discovered the affair. If he insists he really does love me and is doing it all just for her money, this way I feel like he is cheating on her instead of me. It has been very liberating. Although he probably will continue to do most things behind my back, I have now given him full permission to continue at this time and hope that this way we both get something out it.
This is good advice, but in my experience it is better to just get rid of the husband. Most men who cheat and get caught will just do it again, ‘cos by staying with them you are letting them know they can get away with it.
My first marriage was bad. It shouldn’t have even happened but I was young and naive. When I was pregnant with my first child, my husband had an affair. I bought those stupid books on how to fix your marriage after an affair. Looking back it was kind of stupid, ‘cos I was trying to fix something that was broken from the beginning. Then he had another affair, and another, and another – with different women, not the same one. I lost count TBH but it took several of them, and many years before I threw him out and changed the locks. I had to change the locks or he wouldn’t have gone. What a lot of mistresses don’t realize is that many women actually try to get rid of cheating husbands but they won’t go.
It was a long time being unhappy, and I would advise other women to get rid of him the first time (or better still don’t get married at all if you know it’s not right). I know it’s hard when you have small children, but it’s easier than putting up with several years of crap, and you will be way happier in the long run.
You dirty cunt.
My husband was out all night and he keeps saying he was with friends but never prove it, I suspect he was with his mistress but he denies it and is very reserved from the time he got home..she puts up posts on her profile indirectly about them.. How can I get the truth out?
I think we are not talking about handling the ‘paid’ other women. It’s about husband’s affair and not about the paid sex he has
I have to share my testimony to the world because i don’t know who it might be helpful to.
My name is Mrs sabine from Chicago am 25 years old i got married at the age of 23 i have only one child and i was living happily .After one year of my marriage my husband behavior became so strange and i don’t really understand what was going on, he packed out of the house to another woman i love him so much that i never dream’s of losing him, i try my possible best to make sure that my husband get back to me but all to no avail, i cry and cry seeking for help, i discussed it with my best friend Allix and she promise to help me. She told me of a man called DR LAWAL KERIM, she told me he is a very great man and a real man that can be trusted and there is nothing concerning love issues he cannot solve and she told me how he has help countless number of people in restoring their relationship. I was really convince, I quickly contacted his email address at Dr.lawalkerim@outlook.com . I explain all my problem to him, he told me that i should not worry that all my problems will be solved immediately. He told me what to do to get my husband back and i did, he said after 3days my husband will come back to me and start begging, and it really happen as he said, i was very surprise, this is so amazing.
To God be the glory our relationship is now very tight and we both live happily again. If you having similar problem, Contact him now(Dr.lawalkerim@outlook.com) or call is mobile number +2347061066172, and get your problem solve once and for all. i am a living testimony to it.
1) If you want your ex back.
(2) if you always have bad dreams.
(3) You want to be promoted in your office.
(4) You want women/men to run after you.
(5) If you want a child.
(6) You want to be rich.
(7) You want to tie your husband/wife to be
yours forever.
(8) If you need financial assistance.
(9) How you been scammed and you want to recover you lost money.
(10)if you want to stop your divorce.
(11)if you want to divorce your husband.
(12)if you want your wishes to be granted.
once again the email address is dr.lawalkerim@outlook.com contact him immediately.
You are a piece of shit bitch with ni morals . I hope your vagina falls off
This was for the slut that is writing about being a home wrecker … really ?? You have no respect for yourself …you will always be a mistress!
I knew the feeling of a wife who left behind by her husband. Choosing his mistress over wife and kids! Until now i don’t get the point on breaking a happy family just for a some cheap bitch!!!
wow I didnt know there were so many females with no class.first off,if all of you females want husbands, understand you have to be married,TO YOUR OWN. and if you are looking for a husband, you have to start acting like wife material.you females are just who you are ,just females. ladies dont sleep with married men and as for you men, you best be careful. look in the mirrior. who is it you truly see.? BE CAREFUL HOW YOU ANSWER THAT. your first answer will be the right one. think about it
What if a man tells you about the mistress and says he wants to get rid of her but is afraid of her turing psycho on him and the wife and slashing tires and stuff? You think he is telling the truth or just trying to have his wife and the misstress?
I saw a testimony of Nadezhda Vyacheslav on how she got that guy to love her as she did him.Though i don’t know her, i believed her cos she said Mutton Osun a spell caster help her seen it happen. I didn’t believe her cos she used a spell i believed her cos she made mention of a mutual spell caster i know of that is mutton Osun. I have also see a lot of testimony about his work on the the internet on blog pages and so on. I literally took a lip of faith to contact him and it turn out that it paid off. In my own case i didn’t ask that him to make anyone fall in love with me or ask that my cheating wife comes back. This time i was at fault i messed up.Will really like to say it was an honest mistake or a few hours or days of weakness but then i will be insulting my wife and the love i feel for her. I was in full control of what i was doing i had the choice not to cheat but i still did. She didn’t find out by herself i told hoping if i told her how sorry i am and how much i still love and want to be with her despite my betray she will forgive completely. It was the biggest mistake of my life maybe i should not have told her, i guess she would have still found out if she didn’t catch me then i bet the other lady would have told her what was going on to destroy what me and my wife had. It was obvious my betray really hurt her i could she it in her eye and i was really sorry. That is why i wasn’t so surprise when she asked that we go our separate ways. There and then i realized that i was following the part that ruined my life and my family. I literally lead four month of my life in misery. I have never felt like i needed her like i had felt begging was not an option nothing was an option cos she was gone. It was right about that time Mutton Osun came into the picture or when i asked that he help me get my wife to love as she did before. I was able to provide the items he asked that i get for the spell and send then down to him. Like Nadezhda Vyacheslav said “the spell does become effective at once that ” she was right also cos just after i did what Mutton Osun asked me to do with what he sent me, it took 7 days before anything happened i even thought for a minute that i had met a fake spell caster but in the end i am happy with my wife again. We going to be renewing our vows on the 20th of September. I was on the edge of become a walking dead a woman with nothing to live for thank my star Mutton Osun helped. I will also leave his contact for those who thing he can help them { godsofosunx @ rocketmail. com }
The real question you should asking yourself – why fuck a married guy? Sounds more like your problem than the guys. To me fucking a married man – just shows qualities of non commitment – and lack of self respect for yourself. You are a sad person- and I hope you can get some help. I’m single and I would never – because I have way to much respect for myself than to stoop to some horny guys level. Trust me dear – if they are married and fucking you – they are not in to you in any other way besides you spreading your legs. So please get some help – you need it
I did not marry young, we had a perfect marriage before that woman came along and she has done this before, she broke another marriage, while she was engaged she was with this married man for 3 years , and after his divorce he broke up from her in few months, and now she brain washed my husband, my conservative husband now sees the world of & drugs as normal, this girl is a prostitute, and my husband sees it normal, they claim to bbf, she shows her sex toys to my husbands, she tells him her sex stories, she has a certificate in sex massage, she shows her books about sex, her kama sutra books, she talks about her fav sex position and they claim to be friends, no I am not that mad to eat this story…
hi, i have known my husband for 6yrs now, we are married since 5yrs and have been living together since 2yrs, its been shit, he started having doubts at the end of the first year, his cold feet were delayed i suppose but they came alright! he started distancing himself from me, avoiding our relationship, our marriage, our love, and focused on himself, because his friends started badgering him that he doesn’t spend as much time with them as he used to, well dickheads, he got a job, he was doing his bachelors, and he wanted to work on his marriage so that it lasts, why couldn’t u leave it the f*** alone?! he is a very easy person to sway, his family did nothing better, badgering him till date bcoz im not related to them, im an outsider OUTSIDER, yes, double outsider! whatever that means it must justify them ruining our marriage and his relationship towards me, and it was because of all that and his added immaturity and selfishness and unawareness and aggravation and LSE and misguided priorities and cowardice that led to him deciding everything about us by himself, spending the money we got as our wedding gift in a stupid investment that now leaves us in thrice the amount in debt and he doesnt give a shit about it, he never took me on a honeymoon even when we could afford it, he started smoking, and getting high, taking pills that are banned most countries, and are not allowed over-the-counter, his state was a mess and he didn’t even realize whether or not he was coming or going or falling or sleeping..
we had a falling out bcoz im always and still am at the bottom of his list, he disregards my feelings and tell me im wrong to feel them, tries to dictate how happy i should be and how miserable he can make me, and whether or not i have any rights at all, he has no regard for my well-being, i had my first trauma attack a few months after i found out about his cheating, he had an emotional affair with a woman from his workplace, he left ALLL these hints, and kept asking me if helping a person in need is the right thing to do, i never gave him a reason to doubt me, to undermine me, to treat me like last century’s trash, never gave him a reason to question my loyalty nor my faithfulness, i still give him the benefit of the doubt, i did then too, waiting for him to tell me, seeing how i stuck by him and agreed to work on our marriage no matter what he did in the past, he thought i didn’t know, but a woman’s…correction: a moral woman’s instincts are ALWAYS SPOT ON! hands down, and the dickheads that think they can dispute this, are always gonna end up getting burned by their own fire! i had a chance to get back at him but i never took it, not bcoz im not woman enough but bcoz its not only the wrong thing to do, its not sound, its not morally right, its not religiously right, its not socially right, its not right in any sense and it would only cause more wrong..and more importantly, its not me.
he is the result of child abuse, LSE, LSC, and lacks any factual reality no matter how hard it hits him right between the eyes!
when he tells me he gives me money every month so i don’t have a valid reason to ask him anything at all, it makes me feel like a prostitute. bcoz he is using me, and tricks me and makes me a fool and i become that fool bcoz im more invested in this than he is, he broke his vows, his promises are empty words, his words are empty words, and he is hell bent on proving his freedom and manliness to me even though there is no reason for it. i never questioned them, i never doubted them, he broke my trust and my heart hundreds of times, i forced myself to not care ..it didnt work, i forced myself to ignore it, it didnt work, i forced myself to let it go and move on, and i fell in love with him all over again, but he didnt, he fell out 4yrs ago, and has no intention of falling back in with me again, i dont know an of his friends, his family hates me even though i dont disrespect them, but encourage him to have a better relationship with them, for our future, but our present and past are both so dark and disgustingly repetitive and worsens with each passing day that i am losing my mind, when people say women are crazy, its bcoz we “crazy” women are labelled due to the fact that u pushed us to our edges and limits and still expect us to come out unscathed! ever-forgiving! ever-accepting! and ever-willing to be the slave who wanted too much, i never asked for money, neither stuff, neither status, i don’t own him, we are bound by vows, and that sanctity was broken by him, when im fun, he says he doesnt have the time and life is too stressful theres too much to do, when im mellow, he says im hard to please, i come from a well-off family, my parents showed me the world, and taught me good, i saw good in him and he showed me good that was probably never there to last, his sights were set on some thing entirely different form day 1, and i was young and naive and over trusting and over giving to believe otherwise, but that doesnt mean im stupid, or foolish, or a doormat, neither am i a user, he wooed me and i fell for it, if he fell out of it, he should man up and divorce me, not come crying and begging and swearing it will all be better, it takes time, i hate those words, bcoz a real man never does some thing to need time to make things better, never does anything like that ot begin with, never breaks the promises he holds so dear, he doesnt like when i cry, he doesnt like when i get my trauma attacks, then dont do that to me, my mother is devastated bcoz he blames her for everything, she is the one who got us together, helped us when we needed it, he curses her and my family and abuses them, at one point he forbade them from coming to our house, poisoned by his mother (which i know for a fact), and i have to hear why their son changed after marriage, he was like this the hell before he met me, but the sucker wife is always to blame, bcoz when i was rushed to the hospital not once but thrice for my trauma attacks, all he could do is complain and yell at me for not taking care of myself, for feeling too much, for having emotions! and that i did this to myself, well, possibly, bcoz i married u, and i gave a shit about u, and trusted u, and believed u, but he has left me without any respect or dignity in our social circle, which i dont care as much about as i do about the fact that he went to another woman when we had problems, fixable problems that he created bcoz he was scared to man up and move on, he ran to her bcoz she was different, she used him right on, she approached him first claiming being unable to have children, and that no one would marry her, he told her that i stopped doing house chores, that i stopped talking to him, that i want money all the time, that i left and went ot my mother’s, which i did when he didnt stop accusing me of being unfaithful and never stopped me even when i asked him to, and then blamed me, and got more involved with her, telling her he has filed for divorce but im not giving it bcoz i want more money, and i am withholding having children with him, so the “smart” thing in that was to “logically” and “sensibly” go to a woman who may or may not be able to do just that????????????? wtf !!!!
i found his deleted texts and calls and a picture of her in his mobile, the rest of the hints were easy bcoz im not a dumb bitch who doesnt care abt my marriage, i tried different things, everywhere, gave gifts, cooked, cleaned, tried with his family, spiced things up at home, opted for any thing new, but at the end of the day, he just kept coming home at 5AM with no regard as to my well-being, having giving excuses that he’s with his friend when he was just talking to her the whole time, pumped iron for her, starting maintaining himself for her, ate right for her, stopped sleeping with me for her, stopped talking to me for her, when i saw that he learned wors of love and terms of endearment in her language, and texted her that, i came home from work, woke his ass up, and asked him 4 times to confess what he is hiding, calmly, i told him i knew, i opened his phone and showed him his track record of deceit, i showed him and he still tried to deny, i was calm, steady as a rock except for the tears that kept coming uncontrollably down my face and into my heart, i left after that, i couldnt see his face, he said he was waiting for the right time to tell me, wtf is that! there is no right time when that bitch is already influencing him in every which way, he chose that, so then own up to that, if u wanna show freedom and manliness, why not own up to it? he asked me what i wanted bcoz he doesnt wanna lose me over it, i said i want it to end permanently, and never happen again, if he actually wanted this marriage to work, and wanted me, and that i would take a hell of a lot more to make this right, than just a few new empty vows, he said ok, but she’s going overseas in a few months to study, i was like SO? he wanted to continue with her until then, like he could or would stop after, and what happens when she’s back in town? that was the 4th personality of his i saw in all those years, the next 2 weren’t great either, around the holidays his uncle passed away, he took it bad but had enough time to text her “happy holidays to u n ur family my love” …….and didnt even give me a second look after i dressed up for him all the weekend long in spite of past events, he was like didnt u say i could until she left, i was like no way in hell, why would i! wtf is with these men? their brains are like wax! melts if they don’t use it properly! when i found out this second time, i called her that very morning, and asked her what is going on, she said nothing, and she doesnt know, she lied, i knew she would be tricky, she i told her if u both are really in love and he doesnt wanna leave me bcoz he honors only the ONE vow he made that is to never leave me no matter what, then i will give u my blessing after u accept what is going on, but back off until that decision has come to past.she said shes at the doctors, and she would call back, she started with the typical response that she told him abt her problem and he said he is there for her and will marry her but it iwll take time bcoz he “loves” his wife and doesnt wanna lose her, he thought he was helping her and himself at the same time, she fed me all those lies that he said this n that abt u, and he told me u are having problems n ur not living with him anymore, my heart stopped then once more, i asked her why she didnt report him or change her number, she said she did, but i called one and the other she called me back from and both were in his phone, i aint a fool. she was playing me and i her to see how far she would go, the second time i called her, she said the whole story again and i got it on tape, to prove to him some thingi told him years ago, that if he ever saught out another whilst being with me, i would prove to him she could never see u and be with u and love u the way i do, ever! but this wasnt in my mind until he heard the tape and reminded me abt it, he was pissed at the lies abt divorce and money, which could have been true or false, whomever said it, it was said, and it was false, but still said, i told her to call him n break it off or it won’t be good, she swore up n down those hospital halls to whichever god she believes in that she doesnt want bad for me, so i told her to prove it, she didnt call, then i call her and tell her to honor her promise and tell him what she told me, after which he bursts and yells at me for ruining his months and months of work, she disrespected me on the phone on speaker when he was there and he didnt say anything, im his wife dammit, she said she asked a friend to call him but i found out that friend was actually interested in her and was pissed by what she n he were doing and my husband was pissed why he is butting in and ruining his efforts, i never went ot his workplace, i dont drive, and he never invited me to office parties, so that he could enjoy his natural born player habits, he was never committed, he loves the chase, and the thrill of the game, then why hold me down like this, why show 2 minutes of change compared to years of pain and heart break?
i told him to end it with her or end it with me, i found out recently she was engaged to another guy, happily, i forgave her long ago, yes i was pissed, i still am, he used some thing personal and got his excitement with secret lunches and pursuits with her, while i cried myself to sleep waiting for him from evening till the next morning literally every day for months together, nothing affected him, all i want, is love, respect, mutual affection and input and consideration and togetherness and value and sincerity and civility. is it really so hard? it honestly doesnt cost one dime, but are people’s egos so blatantly subjected to selfish gains and pride? after everything, i still fell in love with him, i didnt expect it to happen, it just did, we actually started getting better, but then he started all over again, his family started pinching him and he started distancing himself from me, and yet another bitch fom his old workplace whose engagment broke off contacted him as a friend and he too reached out to her whenever we fought to seek comfort in her instead of at home and progressing with our relationship, i let go of things i would never have before, i adapted more, respected more, considered more, for what? being called cunning every other week? if i were cunning, dont ya think i would be happy sippin cocktails n wearing jimmy choos with a huge ass smile on my face?!!!!!! it took me months to control my trauma attacks, im on pills to get my blood pumping at a normal rate, i cannot be in social situations without thinking what if she walks in the door! he deletes the texts still, it happend 7 months ago, i told him if he wants me to trust him, and wants to see me get better too, then he has to stop deleting stuff, i don’t, i don’t have anything to hide but thats besides the point, he said fine, but yet here we are again 7 months down the line n the 3rd timester of the b.s cycle and he is still defensive, i know he flirts, i know he plays the game, but to what limit? why when he claims to want me, but actually wants the others too? its not fair to me, nor to him, we bark at each other like dogs when he does these things and then tells me why i cannot be a woman instead of reacting like a man, WELL the day he starts behaving like a real man i will not have any need for behaving like a crazy dude with an axe to grind !!!!
quid pro quo!
2 way street, not a 1 way!
he expects me to stay the same without any consequences, what is this? jupiter?
then he says he wants a baby and is only this upset each time bcoz he knows (actually thinks) i dont want one, i do, not with this man-boy though, esp not when i see my future being the same as now with a cheating s.o.b who cannot commit! and will only stay for the child n not me, i am here too u know! i am not some invisible puff of air. i am human too, i am a woman, naturally over-sensitive, over-emotional, over-trusting, over-expecting, so accept it jsut as i have come to accept u being stubborn egotistical testy easily-swayed and gullable and empty with words.
he loves me for some reason, but will never be in-love with me.
i considered divorcing him numerous times, still am, but its circumstantial that these events have come to pass, its bcoz of other reasons, but it doesnt excuse the fact that he chose to deal with it this way, instead of te healthy way, what the fudge am i supposed to do. its his nature, why do i keep considering giving him the benefit of the doubt n working on it. it won’t. but i don’t know what to do. its not like i have done this before. we’re in our 20s. we have very different personalities and expectations and goals and values and principles and dreams and priorities and characteristics and less in common than croissant and toast!
whomever of u will abuse me for my ways n thoughts n decisions n all, just goes to show ur momma raised u that way and u accepted that, or u rebelled bcoz u thot u knew better.
no matter how much he disrespects my mother, she still respects him, greets him, cooks for him, tells me to be a good wife to him, but we’re both stumped!
he now tells me that im the disappointing one, im the upsetting one, im tht one insulting us in society, and im the one who forces his hand.
Its TRASH like you that makes Women look BAD. KARMA is a BITCH and one day you will love someone and some RAGGED WHORE JUST LIKE YOU will turn his head and off he will go.
I love your posts . I feel it teaches me a lot and I’ve always wondered about the perception of “the other woman” . I’m not married or even close I’m only 22 but I feel it’s never too early to learn and I have a lot of older married friends who have experienced getting cheated on by their husband of 15 or 20 years having full blown side relationships. It makes me wonder how these things tend to happen.
Let the bird fly away if he returns every day freely , he truly loves u . Its not the sex or pleasure , how u know they will always love u n give u the world of building a nest together n babies being tooken care of . When he says n tells u he loves u every day n talks about u with his friends n calls u when mistresses watch u know ur man is ur hero n he lays n slumbers in the bedroom that he worked so hard to give u n snuggles with u , while the mistress was only used for her body & beauty . Im sorry 4 ever mistress gets hurt by watching a good man walk away n say they had enough , while they get bored with that , they come home every day when feeling guilty n buy the goods for their wife n even get aten out n dinner n roses . Tochey im fine with that . To be jealouse of a sister is evil in my book n she should not be judged or cast out ! My man loves me n returns to me every day even if i have to share him with the world i would never give up on him n thst my friends is ehat love is to forgive n forget n c through to all wonders in life not negativity . Free will , now i would be more upset to feel bad for those who have husbands where there is good wifes n their left with kids n hub leaves them for a broad , i think that hurts the most when a heart is broken n the children suffer of his own seed . So sad regrets for the old fool who create beauty n leave a fam .
I lost my 2 years relationship 4 months ago. My ex left me with so many pains and since then I have been heart broken and shattered. I have emailed so many sites online looking for a good spell caster till i was directed by one Mrs Becky from a forum to email this email address: SOLUTIONSPELLTEMPLE @ GMAIL . COM . At first I never believed him because he was requesting for some amount of money to buy items, it took him some time to convince me and something occurred to me and I said let me give him a trial. I was very shocked when my ex called me 2 days after I sent SOLUTIONSPELLTEMPLE @ GMAIL . COM the charges he requested to get the materials needed to get this spell cast . My ex was crawling on his knees for what he has done wrong and i am very happy that we are together today because he proposed to me last Month. I will advise you to contact SOLUTIONSPELLTEMPLE @ GMAIL . COM because he has done wonders in my life and i believe he can help you out that is reading through my testimony that is confused on what to do.
I tried to get rid of the other woman by warning her about my ex. Like you she blamed me for his infidelity. The truth was that I was trying to be perfect so there was nothing I could have done better. By searching his emails I could see that he was spouting the same lies to both of us. I saw that she was not my enemy and felt sorry for her which is why I warned her about him. All I got back was ‘ you should look after your man’ well he left me for her he likes to say in reality I threw him out because he gave me stds from sleeping around and in a month she was acting just like me as he cheated on her too. And he hit her just like I warned her he would. Of course she chose not to believe me. I divorced him. And during that time he beat me up for Warning the other woman. I also warned his next victim too and got a death threat from her. And now I don’t bother .Because the other women think they are special and that their love is greater and that they understand him and that the wife is the bad person they hate me for saying the truth. Abd now we are divorced it’s his problem not mine. You have no business entering a marriage and messing it up and you are as much to blame as the man despite what you think. Women will fight for a bad husband if they are brainwashed long enough. Avd you are also being brainwashed. The husbsnd is having great sex with his wife, telling her he loves only her, begs to stay . All the stuff he tells you he tells her. And you both fight over this loser. You will all end up losers. I got beaten for warning the other woman she told him because she thought I was lying to keep him. I wasn’t. I got away. She got beaten Abd cheated on. And she still hates me for being right. Wake up. Act like a prostitute and you’ll be treated like one. They leave when the wife finds out Avd kicks them out not because they choose the other woman. Ouch. While you both get pregnant and stds he’s off finding the next mug to fight over him. Your story is sad because I know the ending. You are not as different from the wife as you think. I hope you stay away from married men they are bad news for everyone especially their kids.
This woman has obviously never been married and had the man she loves cheat on her. It’s easy to see the other side of things until it actually happens to you.
Hello, I was wondering if you could contact me ? I need some guidance . Thank you for your time .
Wow, just wow. Since when does an adulterous woman with no conscience give help to the victims she perpetrates against? Do you not see how incredibly self-serving and deluded you are? Perhaps, it makes you feel better or somewhat superior to be handing out such ridiculous advice? Is your self esteem that low? Oh wait, it is that low, because why else would any self respecting woman have a sexual/emotional relationship with a married man. Next time you are fucking someone else’s husband, think about the kids that you are fucking over too. But you are too desperate for ‘love’ and too selfish to think about anyone else. What goes around comes around. The universe has a lovely way of dishing out to slores like you. You reap what you sow and you are going to show a shit load of pain. Good day to you.
Triangular relationships can work if all three persons understand the encounter at hand, and who eventually, after introspection and along with a consideration and a respect for the function of all persons involved, agree with these dynamics. In which case the “getting together” part is many times a sporadic and non-committal event. What’s more, it’s out in the open, and no one should feel they have to lie. This is a difficult stage to reach within relationships, and more than often mistakes will be made. The intention, however, is clear-cut. Physicality comes close to the idea of possession, especially for women, as we literally posess and “take in” the other person while having sex. The concepts are intertwined, just as the persons are. We might not be able to posess the other person, true, but we do so with our relationships and feelings. The latter becomes affected a great deal when a third person enters a construction “unknowingly, badly intentioned, etc.”. With cheating, then, first there is the lie (an encounter stimulating deceit) and then the sexual dimension is added to the lie, and along with that, the RIGHTFUL posessive elements we attribute to relationships and feelings become affected. It’s plain simple: if the relationship at hand is still “in process”, as it always should be, and has not yet reached the stage of understanding the effects of adverse encounters, you better back up. You cannot stimulate a deceitful encounter. We owe it to one another to care for our overall well-being, and if we notice that the encounter between us is not respectful to all parties involved, we should care enough to dismiss the encounter from the start. The writer of this article does well in raising the issue, but her involvement in the subject is very egocentrical. Also, she takes no responsibility in these encounters she has when she states that “someone has to tell her to back off”, instead of coming to the realization that where she stands there is no solid basis for truthful interactions. I have met people like you, and they have damaged well-intentioned constructions between people (naturally showing cracks here and there), but I have also met the other ones whom we can safely open up to. There used to be the idea of a “woman code” amongst us; some women, even if it were just a few, still understand how they can “inter”act without having to stimulate deceit or damage. There is a way to show men what we mean with “possessing encounters, relationships and feelings”, in which they can be “active” and rightfully “stimulated” by well-intentioned encounters and women. This leads us to great men, also.
so i got to surfing the internet and landed here. read the title and the first paragraph before i decided that i should comment and say that it doesnt really matter what the rest of this article is about because, quite frankly, the morals of the author are clearly lacking and her opinion means, well, nothing. if you can consort with a married man, a taken man, then you are a homewrecker and immoral and untrustworthy. you give honest women a bad name and you cannot be trusted to make sound judgements on relationships as you create, encourage and follow unhealthy ones. who cares about you honey? who cares what you think? you are only meat at the market gorgeous.
I agree with the comments that you are a bitch, I would go even further to drop the c word. I googled how to make the other woman go away not because I’m trying to remove the mistress but because my husband already has. This woman is an insane bunny boiler who won’t drop it, to the point where I think we may need a restraining order. You may think you are high and mighty and these wives are pathetic but keep in mind most of you ‘other women’ have little to no confidence and I truly believe has some mental health issues. To thrive on wanting something you can’t have and to get off on hurting other people to feel superior is the definition of a psychopath. Congrats your superiority conplex infact means you are emotionally inferior to the rest of us healthy individuals.
I have been married for 4years and i have a break up with my husband 3months ago and i was worried and so confuse because i love him so much. i was really going too depressed and a friend directed me to this spell caster prophet JOHN and i made all my problems known to him and he told me not to worry that he was going to make my husband to come back to me and in just 72hours i receive a call from my husband and he was appealing that i should come back to the house. I have never in my life believe in spell and but now he has just helped me out to be a fulfill woman and i am now so happy. All Thanks to him and if you also want to have your Husband back to yourself here !! his email Address holyprophet8@gmail.com i am so happy to testify of your work and kindness.
Love the amount of responsibility this whore takes for her actions! Just because us “wives”can’t stand the nasty, selfish, low life, insecure, distructive losers our equally low life husbands pick to break the ultimate rule in a marriage, does not mean we do not ALSO blame our husbands.
I’m SO sick of reading shit like this, from heartless bitches like this! And just because they cannot find a man who wants to settle down with them, and have a family and children with and spend together forever with, they have to indulge themselves in a ruthless, damaging, hateful, sinful act like this – to feel better about themselves – because it’s as GOD AS IT GETS for dumbasses like this!
You’ll never know what it’s like to hold a marriage together when you have 2 demanding careers, finances, daily stress of life in general, and stresses of a marriage, plus add on a few children into the mix, and you’re definitely CLUELESS! And that’s a COMPLIMENT – to you – dumbass! Because if you did know the innocent little hearts that are ultimately broken and damaged and changed/ruined for the rest of their life’s due to “participants” like YOU! You’d never put yourself in the position to be the “other women” our men so badly want (yet they never leave us for you in the end – ODDLY ENOUGH! Especially considering how badly they want you and how much they supposedly despise US!!)
You’re just an idiot and you need to go EFF YOURSELF! And stay away from married men! Stop being a part of the problem you dirty little slim bag hooch!!
Up tours!! You suck! Literally and figuratively I’m sure Slut!
Well.. there are some interesting comments in here. I was once very close to hook up with a guy who had a girlfriend of which i got to know later on. It made me hate that guy, and when i came to know that there was a girl who loved him dearly i felt guilty even when i was not involved with that guy for a second and was just about to. I don’t get how some side hoes are bragging here. I mean do you even have a brain???? I mean it’s so very lame to even say that and think it’s some sort of achievement. Of course the guy is to be blamed first of all but the females whom they surrender to are just like ass wipes, you use em, you throw em. How can you say that you’re a proud side whore. Lol. If a guy really loved u he would leave the woman to be with you.. if he’s keeping you along with his wife, then you haven’t earned any respect. And it’s high time to reconsider your decision.
You r right about it being all on him. But she can be at blame also. She really has no values at all or respect for her own self. If the mistrust is that shallow n listens to only one side of the story then she is really judging the situation on only his words. Knowing he is a lier n she continues to see him. Then even after his kuds call her an ask her why is she sleeping w their dad. Yeah I would have respectacular for the family it self as a a whole unit. There is mutual respect between women. We r naturally Teratotal n harmless flirting leads to more serous flirting. U don’t give a married man the time of day he will get the hint maybe tell him when he shows u divorce papers in hand. Then go for it. Fuck away until u both die who would care then. It’s the thrill or the adrenaline rush u get or he is paying u. I have since moved on but some days r harder then others. My has and has already cheated on her w me. So she can srew b off. Lol I think it us funny crap. Lol but they have something in common that my husband n me will never have they do Heroin together. He tried to get me to use that crap. Never will I ever lower my standards of living. I will never lower myself to his level. They deserve each other. I can’t wait to see the look on his face when I watch him sign the divorce papers n child support he will be paying because until he us clean N his old lady he won’t get to see hus girls until he is clean. They will be supervised visits. U can’t trust a heroin addict. So the only time my husband cheats on me is when he is getting high. Sad I know huh. This was the last time. After 4 prison terms n being there for him everytime n this is how he pays me. .
Social Kenny yeah we do cheat it’s only usally only because her man isn’t getting it up anymore . Or her husband can’t satisfy her needs. Because of an altered by a horrible street gutter drug. Heroin. Is an epic dime in phoenix az. It’s sickening . Lol
he has a girl who has been calling him sweet names at all time,but he denied having an affair with her.that the girl is imposing herself on him,so i got the girl number from his phone and asked her to stay clear from my man,when the girl told him that i call her.he is angry with me and said wen next i call or text the girl,that it will be over between us.please wat should i do.
you should be ashamed of urself to admit that ur a homewrecking dirty whore so available for a married man id kill a bitch like u
I am a woman & a mother dealing with infidelity in my relationship. I am not naive to the fact that my husband was the one who opened the door for his mistress to enter. Without that door being opened then nothing would of happened and he should be the one to close it if he really loves me. So the blame is soley his, but for a woman to know a man is married with a family and continues with the affair, is really sad. To believe that someone would allow themselves to make a “choice” to step into another persons life with such little remorse shows no kind of empathy or sympathy for the innocent family. And that’s a door you chose to enter as well. What do you think an affair is ? Every relationship ” when new” feels amazing”. You have them butterfly’s in your stomach and you feel like your in heaven with someone & that possibly this could be your soul mate. But when a relationship starts out with cheating and is based on fantasy, sex, lies and no trust where do you think it will end up? An affair is not a real relationship, its a fantasy & it’s a selfish act between two people who lack respect for themselves & others and continues as long as their needs are met. But what about the needs of the wife and family? Love doesn’t work like that and love doesn’t happen over night- it’s built. As the wife – I know the little things about him, I know his fears, his hopes, his dreams. I know when he’s upset and when he’s happy. I’ve shared not only my bed with him but my life – the good & the bad. The pretty & the ugly times. An affair is not about real life because all you see is the good times, it’s exciting and you share a honeymoon moment where real life doesn’t exist. But what happens when you begin a life together. When he decides to make you his one and only. First you have no trust in them, true personalities start to emerge along with bills and life’s responsibilities and before you know it life sets in. That comfort zone sets in and then you realize that it’s not as exciting as it once was when you had no cares and the thought of sneaking around isn’t there anymore. It’s hard work to keep any relationship alive. Life always sets in, and it’s not always gonna be fun. If you can’t handle the good and the bad in a relationship and arent willing to work on it – stay single or end the relationship. There is no reason to cheat and cause pain to someone who is willing to be there through the good and the bad. And if you think that you can walk into someone’s else’s marriage without a drop of remorse then you have no respect for yourself or others. You are a selfish person. If you believe that a man who cheats on his wife to be with you will ever love you, then your delusional. Because the same lies he feeds you about love are the same lies he’s telling his wife. If the marriage & love is strong enough, he will end the affair and it has a chance to survive. But don’t become that person that helped end a marriage. If the marriage wasn’t meant to be then wait until the relationship has ended before beginning a new one. It’s that simple. The pain this has caused me has been unbearable- I wouldn’t wish this on my worse enemy. Please be aware that it takes two to begin an affair. And someone innocent is always the one who pays the price. Don’t become that heartless person. Nothing good ever comes from an affair – nothing.
I was looking for help to discourage and chase away the other woman. However, all I find here is ranting. I want practical, down to earth suggestions, like putting family pics all over his office and suggesting to his child that we should go to the zoo or take a family trip or show up at his job for a surprise lunch. This site is just for ranting and raving and anger. Try sending us something we can use.
I got married with my husband 10years ago with 4 kids 2 boys and 2 girls, back then he has no penny we start from the bottom when he did my wedin he has no money we have to manage and do the wedin my traditional weding cloth i have to borrow from my aunty cos we cant afford to buy that. But now his is very ok what he use to pay me back he went to do wedin in a big way to another woman from his tribe and then hide it secreatly to me till after the lady put to birth before i know not that we do have issue. If is u what will you do on this situation, pls replay to me i need ur advice.
Well, my ex-husband and I were actually on the outs, but I was respectful enough to avoid dating before the divorce was final. He started dating a woman just before the divorce was final, although we were still in the house together…and I was hurt because of all of the emotions of being together for 14 years. I also wanted us to end the marriage on a friendly note without outside influence. My ex husband started to confide in me about this woman and one day mentioned that she was pressuring him to divorce quicker. She had no idea what we were going through trying to decide on who kept the house, business, etc. My irritation about her interference soon turned to anger and jealousy as I began to suspect he was taking her seriously and practically replacing me with her before the divorce. I did not let this on to my ex so he continued to confide in me about her…personal details about her life, previous relationship and heartbreaks and even a time she was locked up for domestic violence after catching her boyfriend cheating with a co-worker they shared. He even told me that she performed oral sex on him, etc. I knew her name, and because her facebook page was open, I knew where she went to church and even where she worked. The more I got irritated, I asked my ex to please allow us to get divorced before proceeding with the relationship, but he would not. One day, soon after that, he decided to begin staying at her house every night. One evening, I tried to contact him and was devastated that he would not answer my calls. I could have been in danger and he did not care. I went online to search cell phone records and got her phone number and texted her to tell him to contact me right away. Of course, she ignored me. I was SO hurt and ANGRY that I decided she had to go immediately. I knew that she was “supposedly” a devout Christian and all over her fb page were bible scriptures and pics from church events so it was completely hypocritcal, in my opinion, that she would be involved in a sexual relationship with a married man. I reached out to her (like an idiot) and asked her to please leave him alone until the divorce was final especially considering her faith. She replied, quite frankly, that our marriage was outdated and over and that he could let me know if he wanted to stop seeing her and to never contact her again. I was OVER THE MOON Upset. In my anger, I reached out to her pastor on fb to let him know that a member of his church, naming her, was involved in a sexual relationship with my husband and that someone should counsel her about it. The pastor shockingly responded immediately to let me know that he would speak with her to verify my statements. I immediately sent him a screenshot of her text reply back to my response for her to stop. I also inboxed her that my husband and I were still sexually active (and we were) and named a few occasions where she wanted to see him badly, but he went out with me instead. I also told her that he really didn’t like huge breasts and hoped she would one day get a reduction, I mentioned how long we had been together (14 years) vs the 2 months she had known him to remind her that there is no way she knew him better than I did and that we were best friends who told each other just about everything…and that I knew about her arrest, the previous embarrassment at her job, etc. Well, needless to say, she was mortified at my ex betraying her trust and telling me so many things about her and of course she was now jealous to know exactly how involved we still were. Of course, he had told her that we hadn’t been intimate in a very long time. On top of that, her pastor reached out to her to tell her to immediately forget about my ex. She cursed my ex out and told him how embarrassed she was in front her pastor…and that he should never have shared her personal business with me. She was history. I actually felt pretty bad about what I did by later the same evening..and my ex was very upset with me for about 24 hours, but then of course, we had makeup sex the next evening. I know this story is quite out of the box, but at least I did something that I couldn’t be arrested for. But just like that, she was gone and out of our lives for good.
Both parties are to blame in situations like this. The man opens the door yet the other woman lets him walk in. Both are wrong. To think that beginning a relationship before ending one shows how little respect people have for their families and themselves. It’s a selfish act between two people who are primarily living a fantasy and filling a void in their lives without any concern for anyone else. Regardless if he’s happy or not – why be with someone who goes home to someone else, who lies and who yourself will never be able to trust. The hurt that is handed down to the wife and family is absolutely devastating. It feels like you’ve lost yourself and that you have been living with a complete stranger whom you thought you knew. The pain feels like their was a death in the family. And that’s what both parties are doing – your killing someone innocent instead of being mature, walking away or talking and working on the issues in your relationship or moving on and ending the relationship if your not happy. Because in the end – and affair will not make your relationship better or neither party happier. Both parties are bothered by either guilt or jealousy or stress and anxiety. It maybe good for a minute but once life and peoples true colors show their face, you will wake up from the fantasy and you realize the destruction you caused not only to the innocent but to yourselves. Not to say that a man won’t leave his wife for his mistress but it’s been a proven study that the relationship rarely lasts long once together. Have morals and walk away. And for those who are temped to go outside their relationship, try your best to make it work first and find the love again you once had because it’s still there deep down. And if not in love no more- end it and move on with your life with an open mind and clear conscious. To the other woman – Show yourself that you are worth more, you deserve to be with someone and have all of them to yourself, not just bits and pieces but all of their heart and soul. Because that’s what loves about and that’s what everyone deserves. Sometimes you need to recognize that the butterflies felt in your stomach in the beginning isnt love it’s something new- you have to work on your relationship to keep those butterflies alive or you’ll be running into someone else’s arms the rest of your life. Love comes from knowing a persons hopes, dreams, fears. It’s knowing their little habits and quirks, their laugh and thoughts. It’s holding them when they cry and being there for them in there time of need. It’s feeling comfortable to share your past, present and future and to share those deep dark secrets with. Stand up and grow up and make a choice. Don’t hurt someone, while you figure it out. Figure it out first. Best of luck.
Is there a few psalms to read to rid the other women away from my husband forever ?
Contact this Email;Robinson.buckler @ yahoo.com and get your lover back
the only reason we mistresses still exist is that it’s illegal to kill them and ditch their corpse in a ditch 😉
Came upon this and thought to myself. Think you’d feel very differently if you were the woman who was being cheated on after how ever many years of marriage. The fact that you openly taunt and mock women who are being cheated on is shameful. Things often come back on you ten fold. I find your attitude disgusting and immoral, your parents must be so proud.
You don’t have morals. You enjoys while other woman is in pain.
you blame the man, I said you have a choice to refuse the married man too.
Why don’t let them fix their problems and if they break up naturally.
ya know. Covet what another woman has, inherit her tears. You mention how the men keep coming back. So i would assume you have many. So you like used men. Do you like used underwear too?
Maybe if you whores would understand the concept of marriage it wouldn’t be an issue. Maybe you should go after guys who aren’t already spoken for. Maybe instead of enabling him maybe you should have respect for yourself and tell him to fuck off